Unconditional Conference: Andy Stanley Says Attending a Gay Wedding is ‘Good Theology’+ Disses Rosaria Butterfield

Andy Stanley told attendees at the Unconditional conference that it’s “good theology” to attend the same-sex marriages of your loved ones, while also criticizing notable critics of same-sex acceptance within the church.

Andy Stanley made the comments to Debbie Causey during the second main session of the gay-affirming Unconditional conference hosted by North Point church. Causey is a pastor and the long-time Care Director at North Point Community Church. She is also a board member of Renovus, an LGBTQ activist group led by her and other gay-affirming leaders within North Point church. She recently revealed that when parents from church come to her looking for resources for their struggling and confused LGBTQ children, she recommends they attend The Christian Closet, a counseling collective where literally all the counselors and therapists are on the LGBTQ spectrum and are gay-affirming. 

Rather than give a long, detailed article, this will be a brief overview of things overheard and said by Stanley. All the direct quotes are italicized. To see our other articles in this series:

Stanley says he listens to and reads content that is “far more contrary to where I am on just about any topic.” He says he already knows what he believes, so he wants to listen to folks with a “different” view than his own. To this end, he offers that he listened to a two-hour talk by Rosaria Butterfield, Beckett Cook, and Christopher Yuan– all of whom believe that homosexuality is a sin.

Talking about this show, Stanley tells the conferencegoers: “you can find it on YouTube with the three of them” and then dismissively comments “and they got it all figured out.” He says none of their advice or presentation is “pastoral” but is only about looking at the issue from “30,000 feet.”

Stanley says he’s been asked why he doesn’t have Butterfield, Yuan, or Cook speak at the conference, ostensibly to offset the singular gay-affirming message that all the other speakers have. He says they haven’t been invited “because in my opinion, they have nothing helpful to say to parents.” 

Stanley says he’s read their books and listened to their podcasts and is particularly critical of the clip posted below. Here, Cook asks Butterfield and Yuan what they would do if asked to attend their son or daughter’s same-sex wedding. 

Stanley points out that the pause after the question was very long, and then laments, “and then Christopher says: ‘Well, I guess you could tell him you have the COVID.’ They make fun! They just laugh off the whole question. I was so offended on behalf of I don’t know who. I just thought. What?!” Stanley also says the phrase “homosexual lifestyle” is terrible and doesn’t even mean anything.

While there is a long time for them to respond, around five seconds, we don’t know if they were merely waiting for the other person to respond first or why they paused. The COVID thing is clearly a joke because, unlike Stanley’s false assertion that they ‘laugh off the whole question’, they give a lengthy response afterward. 

Stanley asks Causey whether or not this session is being recorded. After she says, ‘only for us,’ he says he has two friends who each have lesbian daughters who got engaged, and they were both struggling over the decision to attend the same-sex wedding. They both ultimately decided to go and give their daughters away. One of the gay couples has been happily ‘married’ for three years, and the other got divorced within the first year. Speaking about the divorced daughter, Stanley says:

“And her dad is so glad he supported her in her decision, because she’s leaning into him in the aftermath, because he didn’t lose influence. He parented toward the relationship, not toward his evangelical theology. But good theology would encourage you to parent toward influence, because your heavenly Father sent His Son to figure out how to get influence with you and send His Spirit to live inside of you.”

(We wonder if Stanley would recommend a parent attend a wedding between two of his incestuous children, in order to ‘not lose influence’ with them. By his own logic and standards he’d have to say ‘yes,’ right?)

Stanley calls the dad’s decision to attend the lesbian wedding “inspiring,” and Causey agrees it’s “powerful.”


Editor’s Note. We’ve been writing about North Point for a long time, documenting the theological drift of one of the largest megachurches in America, frequently with exclusive reporting. Some of the stories include:

North Point Church Is Sending Children to All-LGBTQ Therapists: We Profile One of The Counselors
Celebrating Transgenderism?! North Point Church Staffers Rejoice After Man Comes Out as Woman
North Point Pastor Recommends Struggling Christians Attend ‘Queer Parent Summit’
Report: North Point Church Personnel Knew ‘Lap Dance Leader’ Was Gay-Affirming+ Andy Stanley Responds

Exclusive! Andy Stanley’s Children Ministry Overrun and Led by Pro-LBGTQ+ Activists
North Point Pastor Praises Gay Man’s Affirming Org. ‘Lord, Let Him Create More Allies for the LGBTQ Community’
North Point Church Baptizes Openly Transgender ‘Man’, After Giving Blessing to Transition?

North Point Church Staffers Found ‘Liking’ Pride Parade Celebration
Surprise Surprise, Another North Point Church Leader is Gay-Affirming and Wildly Liberal
Dr. Michael Brown Says He’s Spent 8 Years Exchanging Texts and Emails with Andy Stanley, Who Has REFUSED to Condemn Homosexuality



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