Tag: jim bakker

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News

Televangelists Say Trump is Saved Because He’s Said the Sinner’s Prayer on FIVE Different Occasions and ‘I’m sure one of ’em stuck’

Televangelist Jim Bakker, the hucksteriest of all hucksters, joined forces with Lance Wallnau, a NAR enthusiast who crashed and burned after falsely prophesying that Trump would win the election a few years ago, to assure their listeners that former President Donald Trump is a Christian because he’s been led through the sinner’s prayer on no less than five occasions, and they’re sure “one of ’em stuck.”

The last few years have not been kind to Bakker. Two years ago, the embattled Bakker had his credit card companies cut him off and reduced him to only taking checks to support his ever-dwindling ministry. This has made him desperate to hawk any prophecy, piece, or potion he can to keep the lights on, including selling a $1000 miracle blanket or having guests that claimed a Reptile Alien pretended to be her husband in an attempt to seduce her.

Now, they theorize:

Bakker: “So why people think Trump is not a Christian… now I happen to know- I’m telling stuff that I only know because I know the people who have led him in the sinner’s prayer. I mean people who have literally prayed with him. And I know- Lance you know people that have prayed with President Trump to accept Christ as Savior, isn’t that right? “

Wallnau: Yeah I’m laughing because I just hope he doesn’t think he has to accept Jesus into his heart several times a year in order to become a Christian. You only get born again once but I can tell you Dr. Dobson prayed with him, James Robison prayed with him, Pastor (unintelligible) prayed. And those are just three I talked to that said he said the sinner’s prayer, and he meant it. 

Trump has prayed three times that I know of to accept Jesus (“And we know a couple more”) and I’m sure one of ’em stuck. 

Nothing would make us happier than for God to save Donald Trump, but so far we’ve seen no evidence than he’s anything other than a lost and hellbound pagan that is dead in his sins without Christ, regardless of how many “sinner’s prayers” he’s prayed or have been prayed over him.”

h/t Right Wing Watch

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News

Televangelist Claims God Told Him People Will Confuse Signs of Jesus’ Second Coming With Global Warming

Televangelist Jim Bakker, the hucksteriest of all hucksters, is claiming God told him that people will not believe the signs of Jesus’ return because they’ll just think it was global warming.

The last few years have not been kind to Bakker. Two years ago the 82-year old lost in court and was ordered to pay $156,000 to settle a lawsuit stemming from selling colloidal silver as a cure-all for the novel coronavirus. Last year the embattled Bakker had his credit card companies cut him off and reduced him to only taking checks to support his ever-dwindling ministry. This has made him desperate to hawk any prophecy, piece, or potion he can to keep the lights on, including Selling $1000 Miracle Blanket or having guests that claimed Reptile Alien Pretended to Be her Husband in an Attempt to Seduce Her. He explains:

This global warming business is anti-God. If you don’t believe God can run things- he created this world. And a lot of people, here’s what God spoke to me, I’m gonna show you something I’ve never shared before. I don’t think.

But God spoke to me that a lot of people are not going to accept the signs, listen to me, of the Second Coming. That the rapture is near. Because they’re going to call it ‘global warming problems’. They’re going to say ‘earthquakes are global warming’. No! God has given that 1000s of years ago, it was in His Word. These are the signs.

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News

ICYMI ‘Journey’ Songwriter and Keyboardist Joins Televangelists Paula White and Jim Bakker for ‘Christian’ Rendition of Hit Song

Jonathan Cain, the keyboardist and songwriter for the legendary band Journey, stopped by Jim Bakker’s studio back in 2017 to perform a ‘Christian’ rendition of their hit song ‘Don’t Stop Believin.’

Though best known for his role in the band Journey, Cain, 72, who married Televangelist heretic Paula White in 2015, has enjoyed a solo career as a Contemporary Christian artist for quite some time. During his intro, Cain offers a seemingly retconned version of how the song came to me, adding in a sprinkle of heresy right at the end.

My father, when I was starving in Hollywood, I asked him if I should come home because frankly rock and roll was kicking my butt. My father said ‘son I’ve always had a vision for your career, don’t you come to Chicago you stay there. The Lord’s got plans for you. Don’t stop believing.’

I said ‘okay dad I won’t stop’ and it’s a good thing I had the best old man in the world who never stopped believing in me, and I got the greatest God in the world who never stopped believing in me. Amen’

It’s worth noting how unenthused Jim Bakker looks, particularly at the 2:07 mark.

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News

Is Jim Bakker in Cognitive Decline?

Televangelist Jim Bakker, the hucksteriest of all hucksters, is beginning to show some cognitive decline, at least if the last few videos he’s been featured in are any indication.

The last few years have not been kind to Bakker. Two years ago the 82-year old lost in court and was ordered to pay $156,000 to settle a lawsuit stemming from selling colloidal silver as a cure-all for the novel coronavirus. Last year the embattled Bakker had his credit card companies cut him off and reduced him to only taking checks to support his ever-dwindling ministry. This has made him desperate to hawk any prophecy, piece, or potion he can to keep the lights on, including Selling $1000 Miracle Blanket or having guests that claimed Reptile Alien Pretended to Be her Husband in an Attempt to Seduce Her

With this wretched new venture, it’s clear that his ministry is basically being held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and bottled demon tears at this point

Though he had a stroke two years ago, he seemed to snap back relatively quickly and was sharp and lucid. Now, however, he seems lost, scattered, and unable to contribute anything of value, with his co-workers covering for him and carrying the show. This has been getting worse and worse over the last few months, with a noticeable decrease in his ability to articulate salient points and a greater reliance on his guests, with the usually prominent Bakker taking a backseat.

Perhaps it’s just an unrelated health issue at work, but all indication is that Bakker will soon be unable to host the show.

Categories
Charismatic Nonsense

Charismatic Preacher Claims Reptile Alien Pretended to Be her Husband in Attempt to Seduce Her

A charismatic preacher appeared on the Jim Bakker show- that fount of witchcraft and woo-woo- to discuss all the way the dark forces of this world deceive the body, including the seductive powers of the lizard people who are seeking to cause us to sin sexually with them. This is the day after he had Dr. Michael Brown on, so you know he’s keeping it all in the family.

During the show, his guests Sharon and Derek Gilbert, both authors, podcasters and creators of Christian content with a sci-fi and/or end times theme , recounted the bizarre incident.

One stark difference between cessationists and continuationists that is quickly noticed and easily observed is that a continuationist can recount the following story and no one on the panel blinks an eye or asks any follow-up questions and clarification. They accept it as gospel truth, on account of these sorts of activities being an everyday part of their faith and experiences. Gilbert is not some fringe charismatic, but rather is planted firmly in the mainstream as she discusses the range of supernatural activity that an unsuspecting Christian may might themselves facing- lizard people imitating their spouses trying to sex them up, whereas cessationists would at the very least have questions. Many, many, maaaaany questions. She explains:

After Derek and I got married… one night, this other Derek appears in our bed. The real Derek is
lying down next to me. Other Derek sits right up out of it. It startled me. I knew that was not Derek. And
so I asked this critter, “Who are you?” Because he clearly wanted to have sexual relations.

And he said, “Come on, I’m your husband.” I said, “Who are you?” And he had the nerve to claim to be
Ahasuerus — Xerxes….Well, Other Derek seriously wanted to invite me to use my free will to do something that was going to pull me away from God.

…So this last time, I knew he was really desperate. And I asked him again, “Who are you?” He told me the
same answer, and I said, “I am not going with you.” This was an internal dialogue. Finally, I said, “I’ve
had enough” – in my mind. I reached up. I grabbed his face, and I said, “You are a liar. And Jesus is real.”

And I pulled that face off. And beneath it was a reptile!

And he had little creatures with him this time. He brought these little halfling creatures, and they looked like, I don’t know, gargoyles. They were very reptilian as well. So beneath that the face of Derek was a reptilian serpentine creature, probably similar to what was visiting the Anasazi…

Editor’s note. h/t to those reprobates at the Friendly Atheist for the story.

Categories
News

Jim Bakker Makes Final Plea: ‘I Need $1M in Next Week or My Show is Done’

Televangelist Jim Bakker took the airwaves to claim that this really is the end of it, that he has less than a week to raise a million dollars in funds or else the network is going cancel his broadcast – a fund-raising endeavor unlikely to be achieved.

Bakker has long been struggling financially, particularly since last year when the credit card companies cut him off and reduced him to only taking checks to support his ever-dwindling ministry, the result of continued fallout and legal action after seeking to sell colloidal silver as a cure-all for the novel coronavirus in 2020.

A few months ago he was on air pleading with people to buy a $1000 miracle blanket, demonstrating that with this desperate new venture, his ministry is basically being held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and bottled demon tears at this point. His newest cry for help makes this even more clear.

I’ve been told that the network’s going to cancel my broadcast within another week. We’ve got to catch up on the bills, and that’s about a million dollars…We lost millions in finances due to the legal battles we have fought; losing our ability to receive donations by credit cards for over a year has left us in a desperate state. What the devil has tried to do is silence our voice! I’m asking you, as a friend and long-time supporter of this ministry, as valuable partners, will you help us turn this wolf away from our door? We’re not crying wolf, our door…would break down if the wolf comes in. Because he’s there. He’s at the door. He’s not near the door, he’s at the door.

At the same time, because he is a supreme huckster, he may have found his niche; modeling his business after stores that have had huge signs that had said “Going out of business! Everything 50% off!” for the last 30 years. If nothing else, this pitiful cry might be the new perpetual bait that serves to chum up the waters for his ignorant and ailing audience.

[Editor’s note: The only wolf involved in this story is Jim Bakker.]

Categories
Heresies

By Selling $1000 Miracle Blanket, Jim Bakker’s Ministry is Basically Being Held Together by Duct Tape, Chewing Gum, and Bottled Demon Tears

Jim Bakker, the hucksteriest of all hucksters, has a new gimmick to sell you in order to keep his ministry afloat: a miracle blanket that multiplies dollar bills, as well as two books, a CD and a DVD, and it’ll only cost you a seed offering of a thousand bucks.

This is the newest venture by an increasingly desperate Bakker, still stinging from his recent court ruling loss that saw him ordered to pay $156,000 in order to settle a lawsuit stemming from selling colloidal silver as a cure-all for the novel coronavirus in 2020. Last year the embattled Bakker had his credit card companies cut him off and reduced him to only taking checks to support his ever-dwindling ministry.

With this wretched new venture, it’s clear that his ministry is basically being held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and bottled demon tears at this point. He tells his audience “I want you when you order this (for) 1000$ to do it in faith. Sow that $1000 seed in faith, believing that this is part of your seed into the kingdom of God.”

After explaining all the uses of the embroidered miracle blanket, including sleeping it on it and hanging it on a wall as a decoration, his co-host chimes in:

“Lay it over your finances. Lay it over your bills. For the healing of your finances. Put your wallet in there. Your credit cards. All your bills. The house, the mortgage, put it on there. We’re having houses paid off this week, last month, and this month, and I’m like ‘Hallelujah.’

Naturally, no one thought to ask if the blankets were so miraculous and so valuable, why not utilize them themselves to alleviate their monetary woes? Why not daisy-chain a bunch of those bad boys up like a cryptocurrency rig and start mining that mammon?

I think we all know the answer.

h/t to RWW

Categories
Charismatic Nonsense Heresies Money Grubbing Heretics

Jim Bakker Beaten Within An Inch of His Financial Life After Being Forced to Pay 156K Settlement

The hits keep coming for our beleaguered false prophet and snake-oil salesman Jim Bakker, who has been forced to pay restitution of over $156,000 in order to settle a lawsuit stemming from selling colloidal silver as a cure-all for the novel coronavirus in 2020.

Bakker hosts a doomsday show and peddles survival supplies in the name of Jesus. After scaring the daylights out of his octogenarian audience with charismatic end-times “prophets” like Jonathan Cahn or Mark Blitz, Bakker drags out merchandise, like 5-gallon buckets of survival slop emergency food and 5-gallon buckets which you can then use to vacate your bowels of such horrible tasting food. From head to heel, Jim Bakker has you covered when it comes to the Apocalypse. After all, God gave him a vision in prison to help you prepare.

When the coronavirus popped up in March of 2020, Bakker brought a guest on to ply her product—the same special elixir that he previously claimed can heal every single venereal disease.

Then New York’s Attorney General stepped him and told him to knock it off, followed by Missouri’s Attorney General tagging in and do likewise, filing suit against him and ultimately winding up here a year later.

Bakker, who already has had his credit card companies cut him off and is reduced to only taking checks to support his ever dwindling ministry, will have to give refunds to everyone who bought his paraded products, which was sold between $80 and $100 a pop.

Along with the settlement, Bakker and Morningside Church Productions will be prohibited from advertising the magical formula “to diagnose, prevent, mitigate, treat or cure any disease or illness.”

It is unclear how much longer the 81 year old Bakker can hang on, but given the way things are going, we predict he will be done in six months. Mark it!




Categories
Evangelical Stuff Heresies Money Grubbing Heretics News

Huckster Jim Bakker Makes Desperate Plea for $1000, Will Give Blanket and Mug in Return

Jim Bakker, peddler of end-times wares and false prophecies, spent the last few minutes on his show yesterday making a pitiful plea for some financial assistance, offering to give a blanket and a mug in exchange for $500 apiece.

Fortunately, Bakker is barely coherent and sounds like a compilation of Biden when off his meds, being barely coherent and forcing our transcriptionist to work double time to capture his mammon-loving mewls.

I’m asking everyone who’d say ‘Jim, I’m going to stand with you. We’re going to beat the devil back. We’re going to beat him back into hell where he belongs.’

I mean the massiveness of what God is doing through the ministry is so unbelievable, that I just know if everyone gives, we’re going to make it through this. It’s going to grow and grow and grow…if you can give $1000 do it. If you can give the $100 offering, you can do that. If anyone is still with, the special PTL blanket, you can ask for it, and we’ll be able to send that to you as well, and the cup you’ll get the PTL Profits Prophets mug. [Oops! Wrong word! What WERE we thinking? LOL -Ed.]

Call me right now, would you? We need help…

Bakker and his ministry are still reeling from a series of financial hits he took last year, after being sued, prosecuted, and investigated by the government for selling a fake coronavirus cure, which resulted in Visa and MasterCard cutting him off and severely impacting his ability to rake in cash. Now, all they can take is a check, which they note can take 2-4 weeks to process.

As previously explained, Jim Bakker has a racket. His schtick works like this: He brings in “prophets” like Bill Johnson, Paula White, Rodney Howard Browne, or Jonathan Cahn who issue doomsday revelations. Then, Bakker sells survival supplies.

However, he’s technically not “selling them.” He’s giving them in exchange for a “gift” as a gift-for-gift transfer. “Purchases” are actually tax-deductible gifts to his ministry and what is “sold” doesn’t have to have tax added on because it’s only a “gift” in exchange for their contribution. Doing so allows Jim Bakker to undersell his doomsday profiteering competitors.

The sooner he goes belly-up and his ministry devolves into a sad, ineffective heap of irrelevance, the better.

h/t to @RightWingWatch for the video

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Evangelical Stuff Featured Money Grubbing Heretics

Jim Bakker Claims His Spectacular Downfall and Jail Time was Due to ‘Cancel Culture’

Demonstrating that he is completely unrepentant of his past sins, snake oil salesman and supreme heresy platformer Jim Bakker is claiming that his spectacular downfall in the 1980s and subsequent prison sentence was simply a matter of a nascent “cancel culture.”

They canceled me. Mainly it was the media, and the media got a Pulitzer Prize for putting me in prison. That’s what they do, they reward the enemies of the gospel. And the cancel culture, we had the largest ministry of its type in the world, Heritage USA, millions of people came there and it was millions being saved around the world, and they literally took it away, put it into bankruptcy. Said they were going to care for it, it was all lies, it a takeover plan, and it was done in front of the world.

That was what cancel culture is…the federal government produced video from my show video and edited it and put me in prison…they made me say things I didn’t say. They just put pieces together – thousands of pieces of my show – the government did it! Just like now, this is cancel culture!



For context, Bakker was famously indicted in 1980 on federal charges of mail and wire fraud and conspiring to defraud the public after he sold $1,000 “lifetime memberships” to tens of thousands of people. This was supposed to let them spend three nights a year, every year, in a luxury hotel he was building, but his sales far outstripped his capacity and he pocketed tens of millions of dollars, never being able to fulfill his promise. He was convicted in 1989 and sentenced to 45 years in prison but was ultimately released after 5.

It was also revealed that he had an affair with his secretary (she said she was raped) and paid her over $350,000 to cover it up. He had several more allegations of sexual impropriety against him, all the while being revealed that he was living a life of incredible excess and wealth.

Cancel culture? Not a chance.


h/t to Right Wing Watch