By Selling $1000 Miracle Blanket, Jim Bakker’s Ministry is Basically Being Held Together by Duct Tape, Chewing Gum, and Bottled Demon Tears

Jim Bakker, the hucksteriest of all hucksters, has a new gimmick to sell you in order to keep his ministry afloat: a miracle blanket that multiplies dollar bills, as well as two books, a CD and a DVD, and it’ll only cost you a seed offering of a thousand bucks.

This is the newest venture by an increasingly desperate Bakker, still stinging from his recent court ruling loss that saw him ordered to pay $156,000 in order to settle a lawsuit stemming from selling colloidal silver as a cure-all for the novel coronavirus in 2020. Last year the embattled Bakker had his credit card companies cut him off and reduced him to only taking checks to support his ever-dwindling ministry.

With this wretched new venture, it’s clear that his ministry is basically being held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and bottled demon tears at this point. He tells his audience “I want you when you order this (for) 1000$ to do it in faith. Sow that $1000 seed in faith, believing that this is part of your seed into the kingdom of God.”

After explaining all the uses of the embroidered miracle blanket, including sleeping it on it and hanging it on a wall as a decoration, his co-host chimes in:

“Lay it over your finances. Lay it over your bills. For the healing of your finances. Put your wallet in there. Your credit cards. All your bills. The house, the mortgage, put it on there. We’re having houses paid off this week, last month, and this month, and I’m like ‘Hallelujah.’

Naturally, no one thought to ask if the blankets were so miraculous and so valuable, why not utilize them themselves to alleviate their monetary woes? Why not daisy-chain a bunch of those bad boys up like a cryptocurrency rig and start mining that mammon?

I think we all know the answer.

h/t to RWW


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6 thoughts on “By Selling $1000 Miracle Blanket, Jim Bakker’s Ministry is Basically Being Held Together by Duct Tape, Chewing Gum, and Bottled Demon Tears

  1. Some felons need to be in jail forever when they get out and just start the same con jobs again, again, again, again and again. And what is truly sad is people will buy it.

  2. They need to seed a load of those blankets up on Capital Hill and throw them on our National debt.

    And after the debt is gone Bakker can declare himself the Leader of the US of A. for making us solvent again.

  3. Separation of church and state was not just meant to safeguard the state.

    It was there to safeguard the church.

    Within every ministry, first separate the faith, from the business side. Never shall the two meet, or hucterieness will immediately multiply. Digital ministries, while people think are out of the box and easy to manage, actually have the highest difficulty level possible. Faith based concepts inevitably give way to telemarketing and fundraising.

    Oh huckleberries, It’s difficult to alter the hucksterieum from the huckness and the hacks.

    Does anyone have a blanket I can borrow?

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