Announcement: Protestia Acquired by ‘Christianity Today’ in Hostile Takeover

In a bit of personal news, we are saddened and dismayed to announce that ‘Christianity Today’ has acquired Protestia for an undisclosed sum, and we will begin shuttering our website throughout April, starting on the 1st.
The publisher and managing editor of Protestia have spent years resisting aggressive and disturbing attempts by Christianity Today, led by Editor-in-Chief Russell Moore, to acquire us and our intellectual property, all with the intent of shutting us down. This has included institutional pressure, threats and cajoling by lawyers, showing up outside our children’s schools, and late-night text messages that have left us flustered and uncertain about our company’s future.

While we can’t disclose terms due to an NDA, we can confirm that Christianity Today did an end-run around us, laden with heavy pockets filled with ad revenue from all the hate clicks we have driven their way over the years, on the back of such articles as:
Report: ‘Christianity Today’ Staffers Donate Exclusively to Democrats
Christianity Today Calls Pro-LGBTQ ‘Respect for Marriage Act’ a “Win for the Common Good”
‘Christianity Today’ Rocked By Scandal, Say ‘Sexual Harassment Went Unchecked’ at Company For Decade
Christianity Today Promotes Gay-Affirming Ministry (with Ties to North Point Church)
‘Christianity Today’ Compares Having In-Person Church To Snake Handling
Christianity Today Roundly Mocked for Claiming Jesus Was ‘Asian’
Christianity Today Bashes White Christians as Racists who Commit Violence Against Black People by Voting GOP
Christianity Today Lays Responsibility For Violence at Feet of ‘White American Church’
Lies Abound in Liberal Christianity Today’s Rehashed Smear Piece on John MacArthur
Christianity Today Appeals to Non-Profit Status While Bringing in over $10,000,000
Christianity Today Promotes the Installation of Solar Panels on Churches as a “Gospel Issue’
Former Christianity Today Editor and Trump Critic Mark Galli Converts to Roman Catholicism
‘Christianity’ Today Warns Christians Not to Vote Because “Voting is Important”
Christianity Today Makes Pathetic Attack Against John MacArthur Over MLK Criticism
Christianity Today Gets Torched for ‘Pro-Personal Pronoun’ Article
Our aquirement comes exactly a year to the day where we announced that we were being acquired by The Gospel Coalition as a ministry partner, before that deal fell through.
Note. We managed to slip a clause into our contract that if we can get 10 new supporters by the end of April, CT would be legally bound to free us from our shackles and gruesome fate as Russell Moore’s plaything. Anyone wishing to save us from this monstrous future can consider donating funds directly to us at the following places:
http://protestia.substack.com/
https://protestia.givingfuel.com/protestia
http://patreon.com/protestia
A really good April Fools headline would be:
Russell Moore is straight.