Charles Stanley’s Final Words to Andy Before He Passed: ‘I Couldn’t be Prouder of You’
Days ago, long-time Southern Baptist pastor, former SBC president, and In Touch Ministries founder Charles Stanley passed away at 90. In a message posted on social media, his son Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church, shared that days before he passed away, the elder Stanley told his son, as was his habit for years: “I couldn’t be prouder of you.”
It was a clarifying statement for many critics of Andy Stanley, who for years have wondered why Charles never publicly condemned the trajectory his son was on. Andy was featured in several high-profile preaching scandals, such as encouraging Christians to essentially throw out the Old Testament by arguing that believers should “unhitch” themselves from portions of Old Testament Scripture, and saying that the “foundation of our faith is not the whole Bible. Furthermore, in the last few months he’s being outted as gay-affirming whose church is comprised of many pro-LGBTQ pastors, leaders and ministries, a fact that has not been widely covered in the mainstream Christian media. (See endnotes)
Rather than being disappointed in these developments or any of the scandals Andy has been involved with over the past few years, Charles never publicly voiced any disagreement but only reiterated his pride in his son.
There’s a reason for this.
The two weren’t always so close and there was a time Charles would have done it, and in fact had done it publicly in his own sermons. In the early 1990s, Andy Stanley was viewed as the heir apparent was chosen to lead one of his father’s satellite churches campuses, which he did to great success. Things were going great for Andy until the news hit that Charle’s wife, Anna, wanted a divorce. She would eventually explain why:
(After) “many years of discouraging disappointments and marital conflict. … Charles, in effect, abandoned our marriage. He chose his priorities, and I have not been one of them.”
Before the divorce, Anna had stopped attending church for years, with Stanley noting, “people got used to it, and they quit asking about it.” Charles would eventually agree to work on his marriage but said he would never step down from the pulpit or cut back from his pastoral commitments, and any suggestion to the contrary was a non-starter. Later he would explain that God told him not to step down:
“God said ‘you keep doing what I called you to until I tell you to do something else’. I got that straight from the Lord. … I was simply obeying God.”
To his credit, at the time, Andy Stanley argued that his father was biblically unqualified and should step down or at least offer to resign and let the congregation decide his fate. Charles refused and branded Andy as his enemy who betrayed him. Charles felt aggrieved that his son not only called for his resignation but refused to defend him from others calling for him to step aside and take a break while he works through his marital issues. Making his hurt and resentment known, Charles would take little swipes at him in his sermons.
Andy quit the church over his father’s divorce; a decision crystalized when it became clear Charles would not be stepping down. Out of his father’s good grace, Andy eventually started his church which has become one of the largest and most influential in America. In his 2012 book Deep and Wide, Andy says despite being initially against the divorce, he eventually accepted the leaving.
By the time she filed, the marriage had been dead for years. But they were both so adamantly opposed to divorce that neither of them wanted to file. On one occasion, I got so frustrated I actually asked if I could hire an attorney and file for their divorce myself!”
Because of the divorce and the betrayal Charles felt, he and Andy had an acrimonious relationship for years, going months without speaking and ending up angry or in tears when they did. The resentment the two felt toward each other was palpable. Still, determined to mend it, they slowly repaired their bond over the next decade, despite several instances where they found themselves shouting at each other at the top of their lungs. In 2012, twelve years after the divorce and after a decade of hard-fought reconciliation, Andy shocked Charles when he invited him to preach a sermon at his church, and Charles returned the favor.
Charles stopped talking to his wife after the divorce and chose not to remarry, considering it a form of adultery. He would say that he made peace with his decision a long time ago, and that it even helped his preaching ministry.
“I couldn’t be happier. “I don’t really need a wife. God has just filled my life with good things.”
And later.
“Instead of (my divorce) destroying me, it flung the doors open for me. People used to say, ‘I couldn’t watch you. What do you know about hurt, pain, and loneliness? Now I can watch.’ I look back now and realized that God used that all for good.”
Following their reconciliation nearly 13 years ago, despite previously taking potshots at him at the height of their strife, Charles never again publicly criticized anything his son has done or taught. If he disapproved of anything his son preached or taught, he never said it, with his final legacy being one of pride for Andy, not disapproval or disagreement.
Gay Man with a ‘Husband’ Scheduled to Speak with Andy Stanley At His Church’s Family Conference
North Point Leader Recommends All-LGBTQ+ Queer Counselling Collective For Struggling Gay Kids
Dr. Michael Brown Says He’s Spent 8 Years Exchanging Texts and Emails with Andy Stanley, Who Has REFUSED to Condemn Homosexuality
Celebrating Transgenderism?! North Point Church Staffers Rejoice After Man Comes Out as Woman
Audio: Gay North Point Church Leader Says Andy Stanley Affirmed Him in His Homosexuality
Did a Pastor at Andy Stanley’s Church Just Out Him as Gay-Affirming?! Read the Excerpts
Contemporaneous Text Messages from 2019 Support Gay-Affirming Charges Against Andy Stanley Andy Stanley’s Children Ministry Overrun and Led by Pro-LBGTQ+ Activists
North Point Hosting Conference With Founder of World’s Largest LGBTQ Christian Advocacy Org
Andy Stanley’s Church Hosts and Promotes Pro-LBGTQ+ Ministry
Surprise Surprise, Another North Point Church Leader is Gay-Affirming and Wildly Liberal
About Author
So Andy was on track to be the heir apparent, encouraged his parents to divorce on unbliblical grounds, then argued that the divorce was disqualifying.
Filed under “things a truly born again Christian would never do”
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
I have tried to keep within the saying “don’t speak ill of the dead,” but people forget Charles Stanley’s role in the destructive takeover of the FBC. I grew up in Atlanta and remember him very well. He also told men if they were divorced (no matter the reason) they were unqualified for ministry. At least until it happened to him, then it became “the rules don’t apply to me.” As usual in so many churches, the church knew there were problems. A pastor’s wife doesn’t attend your church for years and no one says one word.
I could never listen to Charles Stanley or watch him. Now we know what his father really believed. Well, now he knows the truth. He would probably tell his metrosexual son to turn away from his heresy.
This is a bold-faced lie. As I’d mentioned earlier, one can easily (and rightfully) question Charles Stanley’s qualifications over his ability to be a husband and a parent, but the divorce was brought on by his wife and he’d intended to leave the ministry but the elders kept him.
Get your story straight. Repent. He’s not a great teacher, but you’re a liar.
JJ you seem to be swallowing camels and straining at nats (if that’s how you spell it?) who divorced who in light of the glaring apostasy of his son seems irrelevant.
Well, both men were flawed.
Their ultimate destination is in God’s hands. But I do have concerns for Andy. If he doesn’t change his trajectory things could be bad