It’s Official! United Methodist Church Votes 692-51 To Repeal Ban on LGBTQ Clergy
The United Methodist Church has made it official, with delegates at the 2024 General Conference voting 692-51 to overturn their longstanding-on-paper-but-not-in-practice ban on LGBTQ clergy, which formerly prohibited “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” from being ministers.
It’s a thoroughly unsurprising move, given that the United Methodist Church in the United States has lost one-fourth of its churches in the last four years over their acceptance of same-sex marriage in what has become the most significant denominational divide in the country in the previous 150 years. According to United Methodist News, 7660 congregations have disaffiliated from the demented denomination, including 5642 this year alone.
With no more conservative factions to keep fighting and not having had a General Conference for five years over COVID concerns, the devil’s denomination was eager to start damning themselves.
And they did.
Applause, cheers, and weeping for joy broke out through the convention hall, both from wayward goats populating the denomination, as well as from demons circling the convention, cracking a smile and winking at each other for another job well done.
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Total surrender and embrace of the world. Fail on a biblical scale.
When you’re down here, I’ll teach you the parts of the sentence.
Sorry, atheist Alphabet Person, I play for the winning team and already have a home prepared for me.