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Drag Queen UMC Pastor Releases F-Bomb Laden ‘Slam Poem’ Torching The Bible as Uninspired

What a weird title, I know, but it’s hard to tell which denomination is the most apostate. The Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) usually eventually pulls ahead of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and the United Methodist Church in a race to see who is going to hell in a handbag the fastest, but this time the UMC really got a good head start thanks to this young man.

‘Pastor’ Issac Simmons is a 24-year-old openly gay man who’s been cheered and celebrated for being a drag queen performer of some notoriety named ‘ Ms. Penny Cost.’ Simmons, who speaks at UMC churches demon-holes across the country, uploaded a new ‘slam poem’ video on his website, and it is something to behold.

Blatantly titled “The Bible is Nothing” the video contains blasphemy, profanity, homoerotic references, a denial of God, and a posture of menace towards the scripture. Some of the lyrics are:

The Bible is nothing
Nothing but poetry pain and performance.
The bible is no more holy than Allen Ginsburg’s howls of life
No more peaceful than Oscar Wilde’s Requiescat in pace,
And no more stronger than Tammy F*cking Faye’s g*ddamn eyelash glue….

God must be f*cking nothing
If her… transubstantiated bodies of color are rundown,
beaten and strewn in the streets of America.

How can you know, how dare you say that the words of the Bible are literal
When my queer siblings know them best as literal bullets and batons,
lashes of liturgy and stings of Scripture
The bible is nothing.

God must be nothing. God must be nothing if her rainbow bedazzled, armour dissipated around Matthew Shepard as he cried his last tears.
God must be nothing if she allowed the pulse of her self portraits
to wither away in that bloodied Orlando nightclub

God is nothing, but if she were
She would be a seamstress, of divine couture,
weaving together string theory and self-portraits to form the fiercest gowns of queer existence

The Bible is nothing. God is nothing
Religion is nothing but an ostentatious,
Over the topness, internalization of white twink Nelly bottom realness
(Ed. Note. a really effeminate young gay man who likes to be penetrated rather than to penetrate)
God is nothing but a drag queen
With a microphone of biblical f*cking proportions

It’s enough to make even the demons die of second-hand embarrassment.


h/t Juicy Ecumenism