Tag: lucinda dooley

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Hillsong Church Names New Leaders to Replace Brian and Bobbie Houston

Hillsong Church has revealed who their new head leaders will be, announcing that interim overseers Phil and Linda Dooley will permanently assume the role of Global Senior Pastors, replacing pastors Brian and Bobbie Houston following their termination and removal. 

The pastor and pastrix duo were commissioned by church leaders during the service yesterday, taking over as the head of the embattled multisite monster. Hillsong Board Chairman Stephen Crouch announced to the congregation:

“They have served many roles, from youth pastors, to creative pastors, pastoral care, to dedicating the last fourteen years establishing Hillsong Church in South Africa, a flourishing church….each time they have applied themselves with diligence and excellence….they will lead our church with grace and wisdom.”

It’s an expected, if not disappointing selection, as the Dooleys are wretched preachers and buy into Hillsong’s prosperity gospel. Lucinda, in particular, is exceedingly rickety, having preached a vomit-inducing sermon last year where she thoroughly molested the scriptures.

Last year, Houston resigned from the church founded in 1983 after being accused by the leadership of committing indiscretions with two women and having a drinking problem, including getting drunk and spending nearly an hour in a woman’s hotel room in 2019. Houston denied any wrongdoing and said in an interview he thought the church would fight for him, but they never did. He recently revealed that he is staging a comeback and will likely begin a new church in the next six months.

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Hillsong Pastrix Gets Sermon Idea From Cringey Pastor’s Cringey ‘Rap Promo’

Hillsong Church’s global senior Co-Pastor Lucinda Dooley is about unqualified as they come to preach and claim the role of ‘pastrix’ and this is no more evident than during a recent sermon where she explains she spent 8 hours “getting a word on the ‘I Am of God” but that it wasn’t working and couldn’t put the sermon together. 

Consequently, she recalled the time Pastor Ed Young Jr (who did one of the most outrageous things we ever heard of, in the endnotes) came and spoke at their heretic-riddled conference a dozen years ago. She couldn’t remember the message, but the phrase ‘whole ‘nother level’ stuck with her, forming the basis of her sermon- that God is getting ready to take them to a ‘whole ‘nother level’ in their finances, business, confidence and relationships. 

She proceeds to then claim that she’s had a vision of God watering the congregation holding swords, “walking forward into God has for us,” which is “beyond their wildest dreams” and that the secret to God bringing you to a whole ‘nother level is seeing past the problem, exemplified in Caleb seeing past the giants as they were entering the promised land. 

While we can’t locate the original sermon anymore, we did manage to get our hands on the promo video he cut of it:

It’s worth noting that other conference speakers included Trinity-denier T.D. Jakes, Christine Caine, Joseph Prince, Joel Osteen and Andy Stanley.

She concludes by leading the congregation through a mantra of their need to ‘shift the dish’, by getting in alignment with God, using a satellite dish that needed to be adjusted to get a better signal as her metaphor.

h/t Salt and Light YT channel

Bonus: Pastor Ed Young is senior pastor of Fellowship Church, a 30,000-member multisite megachurch spread across Texas and Florida has done some terrible and goofy things in his time.

He launched the now-defunct “Pastor’s Fashion” website, which sought to teach pastors how to dress in the coolest clothes by hiding the muffin-top rolls with compression garments. He engaged in a “sexperiment” with his wife, where he and his spouse spent 24 hours on the rooftop of their church, cuddled up in bed, after advocating for 30-day sex challenges to promote his new book.

Recently, in a horrifying chain of events that treats the body of Christ like a commodity, congregants of Fellowship Church in Miami, a satellite campus of Ed Young’s church, had the shock of their lives when they were told at the end of a sermon that their building had been sold to a new megachurch looking to expand in the area, and that service would be their last. Ever. The church closed its doors and shut down its social media pages and website that day, leaving up to 200 members scrambling over where to go next, the pastor recalled to the mothership.

In fact, mere months ago Young Jr. released a music video featuring him dancing around wearing gold chains, fake tattoos on his arms, neck, knuckles, and under his eye, baggy clothes, beanie, all the while mimicking pointing to a mouth grill, and last year he was still preaching on the 20-year-old bible-twisting fad “Prayer of Jabez”

In a recent sermon also berated and characterized believers who want to bed fed God’s word from the pulpit as a bunch of ‘dirty-diaper’ wearing babies.

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Hillsong Global Senior Pastrix Preaches Passive-Aggressive Sermon Insulting Whole Church and Leadership

Hillsong’s acting Global Senior Pastrix Lucinda Dooley, who quite frankly is one of the worst ‘preachers’ we’ve ever heard, used the pulpit yesterday to take some potshots and criticize the leadership and direction of Hillsong church over the last few years, explaining that they’ve been dry and dead for around three and a half years, since early 2019 or so, (or around the time Houston spent the hour drunk in that woman’s room at the conference?)

Because she preaches about as well as a retarded monkey with a microphone taped to its hand, Dooley falsely claims that the words “dried out” actually mean ‘disgraced.’ You’re free to check out Strongs to see that this is not true at all, but she brings that in, as well as some assertions that this particular valley of dry bones would only conclude the skeletonization process after three and a half years, in order to fit her assertions.

She says that in the same way that the valley of dry bones was dead and disgraced for the last three and half years, so too has Hillsong been disgraced and dead. But now God is coming to bring life into them. Dooley proclaims:

Ezekiel Chapter 37. Israel in the story had wandered far from God. Israel had lost his way. Israel had given up its faith. That’s what was happening. So Israel had gone far from God and given up its faith. Israel had lost its way, and Israel had lost all hope.

And can you put yourself in that story? Sometimes we have lost our faith. We have wandered far from God, and we have lost hope. So we will find ourselves in this passage today.

“The Lord took hold of me, he carried me away. He led me among the bones that covered the floor. They were scattered everywhere across the ground, and they were completely dried out.” Ezekial 37:1-2 NLT

They were scattered, and they were dried out. Do you know that word ‘dried out’? The word ‘dried out’ church, it actually means they were disgraced. They were disgraced.

Another meaning of the word ‘dried out’ is that they would have actually had to have been very, very dead. For bones to be dried out, they had to be dead for a minimum of three weeks. But more likely in this passage, it would have been three and a half years.

…And then it goes on and it’s really amazing. And it says Then he said, “Son of Man, these bones represent the people of Israel. Those bones represent Hillsong Church, they become old dry bones, but hope was gone. A nation has finished therefore I prophesied to them. And this is what the Sovereign Lord says, oh people I will only…

The video, by Hillsong Accountability, tacks on at the end the quote “…. know they tried to bury us but they didn’t realize that we were seeds.” – suggesting they don’t view themselves as very dry and dead things after all, but only when it’s convenient to make a point.

h/t to Hillsong Accountability.