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Hillsong Church Names New Leaders to Replace Brian and Bobbie Houston

Hillsong Church has revealed who their new head leaders will be, announcing that interim overseers Phil and Linda Dooley will permanently assume the role of Global Senior Pastors, replacing pastors Brian and Bobbie Houston following their termination and removal. 

The pastor and pastrix duo were commissioned by church leaders during the service yesterday, taking over as the head of the embattled multisite monster. Hillsong Board Chairman Stephen Crouch announced to the congregation:

“They have served many roles, from youth pastors, to creative pastors, pastoral care, to dedicating the last fourteen years establishing Hillsong Church in South Africa, a flourishing church….each time they have applied themselves with diligence and excellence….they will lead our church with grace and wisdom.”

It’s an expected, if not disappointing selection, as the Dooleys are wretched preachers and buy into Hillsong’s prosperity gospel. Lucinda, in particular, is exceedingly rickety, having preached a vomit-inducing sermon last year where she thoroughly molested the scriptures.

Last year, Houston resigned from the church founded in 1983 after being accused by the leadership of committing indiscretions with two women and having a drinking problem, including getting drunk and spending nearly an hour in a woman’s hotel room in 2019. Houston denied any wrongdoing and said in an interview he thought the church would fight for him, but they never did. He recently revealed that he is staging a comeback and will likely begin a new church in the next six months.