Tag: bethel school of supernatural ministry

Categories
News

Bethel Student Says Woman Keeps Breaking Her Toes Watching ‘The Bachelor’- But They Keep Healing Her

In a bit of a blast from the past, Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry student Colton explains the “hilarious story” of how he and his fellow classmates keep healing the foot of a woman who can’t stop breaking her toes or injuring her ligaments on her way to watch The Bachelor.

Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, led by Chief Prophet Kris Valloton under the watchful eye of Bill Johnson, is a place much ‘woo-woo’ happens, such as that time Bethel church Kids went on a Satanic Treasure Hunt, the instance when Bethel Church Promoted Prophetic Uno Cards, the time Bill Johnson revealed that Students Cannot Graduate from BSSM Until They Give 3 FALSE Prophecies and the simple fact that throughout the COVID pandemic, Bethel shut down their healing rooms and School of Supernatural Ministry.

Now, in a CameoCube video from 2017, Colton explains the case of the broken toes:

One lady that we keep inviting out is Tika. She lives in the neighborhood, and we see her every week. She had kind of standoffish, but on January 12, she had broken her toe from running to watch The Bachelor because the commercials were over, and she had to run back into the room, and she jammed it into the wall, and she broke her toe. 

So we’re like, ‘can we pray for you?’ She’s like, ‘all right.’ So I put my hand on her foot, real gentle, because she broke her toe and just prayed. And she said she could actually feel her foot coming back together, like she felt the bones moving back into place. 

That was amazing. And she just started laughing because there’s no right response in that moment. And the next week, we come back, and she had again jammed her foot. So we prayed again. She got healed again. 

The next week, same thing. She jammed her foot again. Always running to catch The Bachelor, which I think is hilarious. And she just keeps getting healed, keeps hurting herself, keeps getting healed. 

And then even this weekend, saw her at a gas station, and she had hurt her foot again. She was about to go to the hospital, so I asked if I could pray for her again. She jumps out of the car, pray for her. 

She just keeps on getting healed. Just this silly, ridiculous love. She just keeps getting to meet Jesus in that way, and she just keeps getting healed, even though she keeps hurting herself. And it’s completely her fault. And I think it’s hilarious.”

Alternately, you’re not actually healing her.

h /t The Dissenter.

Bethel Pastor Claims Adam is ‘Procreating With God’ and ‘Co-Creating’ When Naming the Animals
Little God Theology? Bethel Prophet Says you are ‘Made like God’ and Made ‘After the God-Kind’
Never Forget: Bethel Church Promoted Prophetic Uno Cards
Bethel ‘Pastor’ Says Michael the Archangel Dresses in ‘Wrestling Tights,’ is ‘always Grumpy’
Bethel Pastrix: ‘Jesus Laid in that Bed with Me and Started to Play with my Hair’
Bethel Church “Pastor” Says Angels Sit Around the Throne of God Having “Farting Contests”
Bethel Chief Prophet says God made Adam ‘Male’ AND ‘Female’ + Adam ‘co-created Eve’
Bethel Church Has a ‘Lab’ Where they Apply Scientific Methods to The Prophetic + People. Only $2750!

Categories
News

Never Forget: Bethel Church Promoted Prophetic Uno Cards

Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, led by Chief Prophet Kris Valloton under the watchful eye of Bill Johnson, is a place where all things ‘woo-woo’ tends happens and where they experiment with all sort of spiritual novelties, such as that time Bethel church kids went on a Satanic Treasure Hunt.

We don’t put much stock in the school as a whole, however, given that on multiple occasions Bethel Church Shuts Down their ‘School of Supernatural Ministry’ Due to COVID Fears, along with shutting down their ‘healing rooms’ but every now and then something surprises us.

In this case, as part of our ‘Wayback Wednesdays’ where we highlight sketchy spirituality of yesterday for our new readers, we wanted to call back to 2019, when Bethel jumped into the deep end of the divination card industry by peddling “Prophetic UNO cards.”

No joke.

The Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry School Planting Facebook page included a description of “Prophetic UNO” which seems designed to teach the students there how to ‘prophecy’.

“Grab some UNO cards (a few of each color) and place them in the middle of the group. Have your students take turns going around in the circle turning over the next card. Follow the instructions (below) as to what to do with that particular card. This exercise is best with groups of 6-8 students.”

RED – you give a prophetic word to the person on your left about their financial situation.

GREEN – you give a prophetic word to the person on your right about their relationship with someone close to them

YELLOW – you choose who to give a prophetic word to in the group about their career/employment/job

DRAW 2 – give any 2 people in the group a prophetic word about their identity

WILD CARD – choose whether you give a prophetic word to someone about their destiny or choose someone to give you one about your destiny.

This is basically another form of Tarot, and it’s this occultism that is being taught to students and sent out to churches across the world.

Categories
News

Bethel Church Promo Shows Bill Johnson Thinks People are Stupid

A recent Facebook advertisement put up by Bill Johnson and the ragtag gang of con-men at Bethel Church for their School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) shows that the leadership in Redding must think anyone watching is a complete idiot, given how much they lie about their abilities and engage in revisionist history.

The ad in question is an invitation to join BSSM, where an unnamed woman says their job is “living out everything we see in the bible and bringing heaven to earth.”

We get to do all the things we see Jesus talk about in the Bible, like his disciples we get to step out and become people we never realized we could be…

We’ve seen so many fun testimonies over the years. My favorite is seeing legs grow out when people have a shorter leg than the other, or cancer, or people just getting healed.

People just getting delivered from trauma. People stepping into peace and anxiety leaving them. Headaches gone. Shoulders healed. Knees healed. The list goes on and on.

First off, leg-lengthening is not a thing. It is an easily debunked and frequently replicated parlor trick, demonstrated in the below video. That she points to this as a miracle is embarrassing.

But more importantly, one thing we noticed is conveniently absent from that litany of miracles from a school designed to help Christians “do all the things we see Jesus talk about in the Bible” and “live out everything we see in the bible” is any reference to COVID-19.

Why? Because Bill Johnson wants you to forget that the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry was shut down for much of last year, along with their church services and their healing houses because of that very virus. The school and church where they teach you to do miracles was shut down for months at a time because…they could not do any miracles.

In fact, they shut down the BSSM several times last year, and not just once, but canceling classes or having instruction through zoom.

Furthermore, in October, Bethel and their school had so many cases linked back to outbreaks at the school and church – none of which were healed by all those gifted apostles and faith-healers who operate from the 10,000 member megachurch – that it caused their county of over 175,000 people to go into lockdown mode. This was a direct result of how many COVID-19 cases were arising, prompting the Chief Executive Officer for the Shasta Community Health Center to call out Bill and Beni Johnson by name.

Bethel Church and its supernatural affiliates did nothing about COVID-19 other than cower from it and hide from it, paralyzed with fear.

Now they want to put forward their supernatural healing creds in order to bring back business? After all that?

That sounds like just something they would do.