Tag: angels

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Woke Pastor Says there are ‘Lesbian Angels’ who ‘Consensually’ Flirt with Queer Christian Women

The Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) is a raging dumpster fire of blasphemy and perversion. Given their love of everything Antichristic, it is no exaggeration to say that sitting through an actual church service at one of their pagan temples is a foretaste of the hell that awaits them if they don’t repent. I mean, here are just a few of their greatest hits.

Church Holds’ Pride Worship Service’ Featuring all LGBTQ Songs

Woke Church Newsletter Invites Congregants To Help Pay for Abortions and Abortion Pills

Pastrix Says Jesus Called Syrophoenician Woman a ‘B*****’ + “Jesus Screwed Up, She Redeems Him”

Queer ELCA Pastrix Ordained With Drag Queen Nuns While Jennifer Knapp Serenades

This brings us to Lura Groen. The pastrix of Abiding Savior Lutheran Church in Columbia, MD. She is quite possibly the grossest clergy we’ve ever written about.

In a May 7, 2021, Facebook post, she engages in some spectacularly poor interpretation of Psalm 23:6, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever” by claiming that because “It is common and orthodox to personify all the Biblical virtues as women. Think Woman Wisdom in Proverbs” that it somehow follows that “Goodness and Mercy can be the names of God’s righteous lesbian angels, mercilessly (and consensually) flirting with you your whole life….ruthless and sacred pursuit from lesbian angels.”

She’s isn’t a nobody, even though it wouldn’t matter if she were. Rather, she continues to rise in the ranks through the ELCA. Three years ago, she was elected to the Discipline Committee of the Delaware-Maryland Synod, where she enjoys a close friendship with the Bishop. She has also spoken on at least one panel with Elizabeth Eaton, the head of the ELCA. Those in power know who she is and how she behaves, and they are completely and utterly supportive.

Because there is no limiting factor within the ELCA, she is the next natural evolution.

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News

Steven Furtick Rants About Angels and it Gets Weird Quick

From his May 13th “sermon”. Presented without comment, other than to say the bible never says this and we hate it so much.

h/t to Revealing Truth

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Charismatic Nonsense Evangelical Stuff Featured Money Grubbing Heretics News

A Charismatic Prophetess has Amassed an Army of ‘5 Billion Angels,’ and It’s Growing Daily

When Kat Kerr, our favorite pink-haired charismatic meme-bot and “Dr. Michael Brown-approved prophetess” isn’t weaving an unbiblical tale of witchcraft and false theology by claiming that she has a picture of thousands of lioned-faced angels frog-marching chained demons across the sky in order to go to heaven for judgment, she’s disclosing to hundreds of thousands of followers that her army of angels has grown considerably, from a mere 1000 ‘special ops angels that were dispatched to oversee Trump’s election, to her current army reserves of more than 5 billion.

Speaking to chief-enabler and gullibility king Steve Shultz on Episode 27 of “Wednesdays with Kat and Steve! Kerr explains that she puts her army of angels to work on a daily basis- sending them off to scour the earth to find and expose wickedness, to the point that her exploits will soon be covered on TV and shown in magazines.

Last night I was out there sending 5 billion of them to go worldwide to make a sweep for a sweep for the next 30 days, 24 hours a day, to expose any unseen, unknown wickedness, evil, cheating, stealing, lying, controlling, whether it was spirits or people or humans. To pull them down and to stop the activities and make it known where it’s talked about on television, where it’s shown in magazines where people will see and know what’s going and I sent 5 billion last night out to go do that…

Steve : Wow!

And immediately they went and they’re going to go to every state and then every country, even some that people don’t know about yet (but) are about to find out about it.

Steve: And God the Gather could, if he wanted to, send 5 billion or 100 billion, but he’s put it into the hands of men to be doing most of the sending, right?

Yes, because the Father always gives me scriptures. He said ‘I said that I put YOU in charge of the earth, I put YOU as the body of Christ’ Those who follow Christ, he gave us authority in the earth-you have to have flesh to do that- or spirits will be here taking over everywhere.

Godspeed, Kat! Let us know when you have 500 billion angels under your command. We would like to talk with their commander, Legion…

h/t to RightWingWatch

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Bethel Pastor Claims Christians Have Doppelganger ‘Angel Twins’ that Buy Strangers Pizza

As if you didn’t need more proof that the crazy-as-rats-in-a-coffee-can charismatics at Bethel church have lost their minds and are routinely teaching bizarre and perverse doctrines, one of their pastors is now claiming that Christians have doppelganger “angels twins” that look just like them that flitter throughout the world doing random acts of kindness and benevolence. [Great, does that mean I don’t have to? -Ed.]

Eddie Tait, Associate Leader of Bethel Austin, told the congregation during a May 2 service:

I’m sitting in Nebraska, we’re at a pastor’s meeting, and this woman comes up to me at lunch and she says, ‘I just want to let you know how much your church has blessed us.’

And I’m thinking, ‘oh that’s awesome. Shane and I were speaking, we must have really blessed her in this meeting, that’s great,’ and she’s like, ‘about a few years ago…I was in Amarillo, Texas, I was at a prophetic conference, and during the break for dinner a group of people from Bethel Austin came up to me and said ‘we’re kidnapping you and taking you to dinner.’

And she’s like, ‘Why?’ They’re like, ‘God highlighted you.’ And she said they took her to a pizza place; she’s a vegetarian…and the person asked, ‘Hey, what do you want to eat?’ And she said, ‘Well, I’m a vegetarian,’ and they’re like, ‘Great we’re going to eat what you’re eating because we want to honor you.’

And so she goes, ‘I’ve never felt more loved and honored by a group of people…and I wasn’t at church I was with people at a pizza place.’

I was like, ‘Wow, do you know any of, you recognize the name of anybody?’ She goes ‘well the one was Joaquin…’ So I call him, and I relay this story and he says, ‘Uh I haven’t been in Amarillo since 2004.‘ Like, she said this was like two or three years ago.

We start talking and he says, ‘You know, last week I was praying about my angel that used to be seen, and I was telling God I haven’t had that happen in a while.’

I want more of those stories. And I’m like, ‘Okay, I’m gonna find out if this was his angel.’ So I hang up with him and I pull up a Facebook, and I go over and I say, ‘Hey, is this the guy?’ And she goes, ‘Oh yeah, that’s him. That’s Joaquin.’

Not content to share one lie, he gives a few more examples, but not before telling the congregants to “not try to use the word of God to discredit an encounter of God” by telling them to approach his stories with openness, “Come at it with a heart to disprove instead to receive.”

Of course, there are so many questions. Do we likewise have evil demonic twins doing random acts of chaos and mischief? What if our angels get caught on CCTV at the scene of a crime? Do they have the same fingerprints we do?

The fact that this pastor is teaching that it’s completely normal for gangs of angels that look just like their human counterparts to be engaged in these activities is more of the same nonsense, and more of the same poisonous fruit coming out of Bethel church.

h/t to Salt and Light for the video

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Charismatic Nonsense Conspiracy Evangelical Stuff

Kat Kerr Says If You Mess With Her, Her 150-foot Angels Will Literally Murder You

Illustration of angry red eyes on a black background

Well, that’s a side we haven’t seen before. Kat Kerr, our favorite pink-haired, mainstream continuationist, spunky charismatic meme-bot and “Dr. Michael Brown-approved prophetess” is getting a little bit scary, putting her own spin on the frequently cited “touch not the Lord’s anointed” by making open threats to anyone seeking to take her on.

Talking to chief enabler Steve Shultz of ElijahStreams, Kerr explained that no one had better mess with her or “take her down” for her support of Trump, (is anyone doing that?) because if anyone tries to lay a finger on her, she has 150-foot angels on standby, and they will literally kill that person first.

She warns:

I will just say this: I live in Florida. If you’re making noise to come and take me down, you’ll have to face these 150-foot angels who are with me… I always have to give a warning: You will not live in a decision like that… [The Father] told me He’s not gonna let anybody take my life. That’s not a challenge to you; that’s a warning.


Time to slowly back away….

As usual, HT to the give of scum and villainy known as the Friendly Atheist for the link and transcript.

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Charismatic Nonsense Church Conspiracy Money Grubbing Heretics

Kat Kerr Prophecies God will Supernaturally Storm Capitol Hill and ‘Kick Out’ Biden

When Kat Kerr, our favorite pink-haired charismatic meme-bot and ‘Dr. Michael Brown-approved prophetess making a fool of herself when she tries to control the weather, or recounting how when she visits heaven (trips out on acid/ given visions by satan) that even God and the angels refer to Joe Biden as ‘Sleepy Joe’, or weaving an unbiblical tale of witchcraft and false theology by claiming that when babies die in miscarriage, sometimes God “puts them back” in the womb, she’s refusing to accept that Trump lost the election and that her prophecies were false, showing herself to be the ultimate “always Trumper.”

In this case, she describes how God appeared in her bedroom, visibly upset and mad as a hornet, saying that Trump won in a landslide and that Biden stole it.

Promising divine retribution, the Lord of Lords declared that nothing will stop him from enacting his divine plan into motion of “putting My son Donald Trump back in that White House” and promising to kick Biden out of the White House in what might be generously described as a supernatural storming of Capitol Hill.

She says that God says:

Can you not stand and not turn to the left and give himself as a partner to the evil that wants to take this land? Well, I say no, it will not happen. It will end and it will be done because I say it will be done!

Watch My hand move! Now that man is done with their process, I will put My show on, and no one will ever forget when that happens. There will be great celebrations in the streets of this country and around the world. That great victory has come on behalf of the body of Christ, on behalf of My America, that I’m not giving up to any enemy.

So be ready to see what will happen, regardless of what they show. The lying frying (?) news and the liars and the stealers and the takers will pay greatly for what they have tried to do. So they will fail and fail greatly in every way, because that landslide will pull every one of them down, and justice will be served, says your God.

So stand in the light, or run to the darkness. But nothing will stop Me from My plan of putting My son Donald Trump back in that White House. Even if they inaugurate the villain and try to put him there, I will kick him out. I will remove him and I remove every obstacle that’s in the way. Maybe they’ll show that in the news, says your God.

Watch the whole thing below, with the specific comments at the 6:30 mark. She gets a little crazy.

Hopefully the Almighty will have better luck than the rioters in Washington did.

HT to the give of scum and villainy known as the Friendly atheist for the transcript.

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Charismatic Nonsense Church Heresies

Bethel Church “Pastor” Says Angels Sit Around the Throne of God Having “Farting Contests”

(Reformation Charlotte) Jenn Johnson, who, along with her husband, Brian, is one of the senior worship pastors at the infamously blasphemous charismatic Bethel Church in Redding, California. Bethel, which is known for its parlor tricks, false manifestations of the Holy Spirit, and cultish practice of raising the dead and “grave sucking,” is no stranger to controversy.

This time, Jenn Johnson, a female “pastor” who is on stage mocking the throne of God, says that angels sit around the throne of God having “farting contests.”

It really doesn’t get much more blasphemous than that.

Jenn goes on to say that…

To continue reading, click here

Editor’s note. This article was written by Jeff Maples and published at Reformation Charlotte.

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Charismatic Nonsense Church Evangelical Stuff Money Grubbing Heretics

Prophetess Kat Kerr Dispatches 1000 ‘Special Ops Angels’ in ‘Red, White & Blue Robes’ to Oversee Trump Victory

Prophetess Kat Kerr, general in the Lord’s angelic army, controller of weather, rebuker of hurricanes, and guaranteed to liven up prayer meetings everywhere, announced that 1000 special ops angels, adorned in red, white, and blue robes have been dispatched to earth to oversee Trump’s upcoming election victory: a reward for helping the President emerge victorious in 2016. 

Kerr, who is considered a “little extra” even by charismatic standards (but not by much) pointed out the anointing of the President while “prophesying” that he will win the election and that the whole thing is a done deal. It is this confidence perhaps that has her only commanding 1000 special ops angels, and not the 100 million she previously dispatched to oversee the Republican National Convention. She explains:

When he [Trump] speaks there is an anointing in his voice that brings healing hope. And you know what? We should have no fear. Remember the scriptures says ‘perfect love casts out all fear.’

So I don’t want anyone to be afraid of anything, and I can just tell you this from heaven: Trump is going to win. And no matter what the left and the liberals and the hate people and the fake news, no matter what they come together, even with some wicked people to plot the downfall of America, to make it a socialist country you don’t want that. If you’re too young to understand you don’t want it…

We in America are the land of the brave, the free, and the filled with God. And I can tell you that whole event was filled with the presence of God. And yes, there were 1,000 angels waiting. You know who these angels were? I could see them sitting all up in the…upper stands and everything, in the seats, and they were white—they just glow with the glory of God. But they actually were wearing red, white, and blue robes.

And the Holy Spirit said, ‘These angels are special ops angels that were sent from Heaven back in 2016 to fight on behalf of America, on our president, on his administration, God’s plans that he has for this country.’ And they were there to be sent out again right now. And we all did that…It was very powerful to see them. They shoot past us like beams of light, and they were very powerful beings. Very excited. Let me know, why were they there? God invited them, as a reward for what they’ve already done for America. To hear the words of those who stand in the gap, who will prophesy about what God wants done in America, who have powerful prayer warriors, all of them who were there.

We would ask Dr. Michael Brown to confirm this prophecy, but we’re still waiting for him to comment on the wolfish wager he made with cessationists that left him utterly bereft of credibility. If any other charismatics want to co-sign on all this, we’re all ears.

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Evangelical Stuff Featured Money Grubbing Heretics

Perry Stone Shows Photo of Real Angel/ Jesus Capured on Film. It’s Embarrasing

(The Friendly Atheist) Right-wing pastor Perry Stone — who’s best known for checking his phone while speaking in tongues, claiming to speak four languages at once (also in tongues), and for delivering a sermon to a bunch of puppets — has been on a sabbatical from his church lately after acting “inappropriately” with women in his ministry.

He said last month that there had been a rise in “paranormal activity” due to the increased number of pixels in our phone cameras. That meant “things can appear that normally would not appear.”

But in a video posted yesterday, Stone used a very blurry picture from about four decades ago to show that angels are real. He held up the old picture of a sick child in a hospital bed and said Jesus had appeared behind the IV bag.

The relevant portion occurs around the 2:00 mark:

I believe it was the face of an angel of the Lord. And to be quite honest with you, if you look at the paintings and the images and the ideas of what Christ looked like, it almost looks like Christ Himself. Are you ready? Look at the face that appeared behind the IV bag.

It looks like… a blur. Seeing a face where there isn’t one is so common, there’s a psychological term for it.

Stone also had a message for the skeptics! Just shut up and appreciate this.

… I know there’s always skeptics and people… and I just wish people could just enjoy something like this and say, “Isn’t that interesting?” and “Isn’t that wonderful?” and “Thank God for that!” and I hope that your comments will be that way…

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Editor’s note. This article was written by Hemant Mehta and published at hive scum and villainy known as the Friendly Atheist, who more often than not isn’t particularly friendly. Lest people complain about the source, we don’t care where something comes from- evidence is evidence.