Categories
Church Conspiracy Money Grubbing Heretics

Televangelist Pat Robertson: ‘I don’t think most Christians are Stupid enough to Believe in Creationism’

Longtime Televangelist Pat Robertson, (90 years old) who should have retired decades ago/ never started at all, took to the airways on his program The 700 Club to a question asking why his show promoted the Old Earth Theory “rather the biblical viewpoint that is shared by most Christians.”

Robertson, whose advice tends to fluctuate between the passable to the unbiblical ramblings of a decrepit old man, responded:

… I don’t think most Christians are stupid enough to believe that other… The other is the Ussher theory… if you added all the generations from Adam until the current time, and you say, “Alright, that adds up to 7,000. Okay. And so, therefore, the Earth’s only 7000 years old.” Well, that’s just nonsense.

I mean, there are just too many geological factors, too many things that have happened on our Earth. The Earth is about 14 billion years old, and there’s just no question about it.

You’ve got the dinosaurs. You’ve got all the things that have happened on this Earth. And there’s too much geology, I mean, it’s just established science. So the idea of having a 6-7,000-year Earth is just… It’s just… Any Christians who believe that, just, I’m telling you that, they aren’t very up on today’s…

I believe science! I mean, let’s face it! You know, God didn’t… This whole planet was set up for God’s purpose. The universe is tuned for life. But it didn’t get here in 6-7,000 years! It got here over… almost 14 billion years to get this Earth to where it is right now.

It’s not the first time that Robertson has taken potshots at Biblical Christianity presentation of the timeline and origins of the earth. In 2015 he responded to another question in the same vein, proffering:

… I appreciate the fact that you’re trying to grapple with it… the truth is, you have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to think that this Earth that we live in only has 6,000 years of existence. It just doesn’t. I’m sorry…

…We haven’t worked all the wrinkles out, but I think to deny the clear record that’s there before us makes us looks silly… There’s no way that all this that you have here took place in 6,000 years. It just couldn’t have been done, couldn’t possibly have been done.

H/t to the unfriendly pagans at the Friendly Atheist for this story and for the transcript.

Categories
Church Featured News

Barna Poll: 40% of Christian Evangelicals are Pretty Much a Bunch of Socialist, Pro-Choice Pagans

Barna recently released another survey for self-described evangelicals and it has confirmed what all the other polls have said, just with rapidly heightening percentages. Results reveal that nearly half of evangelicals are pretty bunch a ragtag group of biblically illiterate, confused, socialist, sexually progressive weirdo pagans.

The survey released Tuesday, part of the Cultural Research Center (CRC) of Arizona Christian University’ American Worldview Inventory 2020 survey, shows an increasingly troubling trend. Famed Polster George Barna reveals:

The most startling realization regarding the theological reformation in progress is how many people from evangelical churches are adopting unbiblical beliefs. What makes that trend so significant is that evangelical churches, by definition, teach that the Bible is the authoritative word of God that teaches not only salvation by grace alone but also an array of life principles that are meant to drive one’s thoughts and actions.

Several polling results found that apply specifically to American evangelicals- a term that is not loosely defined but rather must meet 9 different criteria- reveal:

  • 48% believe a person who is good enough or does enough good works can earn eternal salvation
  • 44% do not believe that history is the unfolding narrative of God’s reality
  • 44% claim the Bible is ambiguous in its teaching about abortion
  • •43% maintain that when Jesus was on earth, He sinned
  • 42% seek moral guidance primarily from sources other than the Bible
  • 42% do not identify and confess their sins on a daily basis
  • 40% accept lying as morally acceptable if it advances personal interests or protect one’s reputation
  • 36% prefer socialism to capitalism
  • •34% reject the idea of legitimate marriage as one man and one woman
  • •34% argue that abortion is morally acceptable if it spares the mother from financial or emotional discomfort or hardship

The results certainly do not reflect favorably on the churches that these people attend. Barna says it nicely “If the views of the people attending our
Christian churches these days are any indication, we need to redirect our efforts for greater impact.”

We at Protestia are a little more direct.

Half the people in this poll are unregenerate pagans and have a false assurance of salvation. They’re part of seeker-sensitive churches that don’t teach the whole counsel of God, led by emasculated betrayers of Christ who’d just as soon preach on self-help and trivialities than a mercilessly tortured Christ who was murdered on a cross because of mercilessly foul sins- slitting the throats of their sheep with bad teaching and then juggling their heads to entertain the goats.

May God have mercy on us.

Categories
Evangelical Stuff podcast Polemics Report

Podcast: Hillary Clinton Says the Church is Too Judgmental

On this episode of Polemics Report, JD discusses today’s news topics, and then goes on to demonstrate that Hillary Clinton’s theology – as recently expressed by her – is 100% identical to that of SBC leaders or the Gospel Coalition. JD discusses the payoff of Thom Rainer and also answers some sincere questions about Soros, Theonomy, and more.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 28:36 — 39.3MB) | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS

Categories
News

Jeff Durbin of Apologia Church Rails against ‘Woke Bulls***’ and ‘Slu**’ During Fiery Sermon

Pastor Jeff Durbin of Apologia Church raised some eyebrows during his message at the Fight Laugh Feast (FLF) Conference held over the weekend in Tennesse when he dropped some foul language in the process of calling out woke pastors who were whoring themselves out to pagan ideologies and practices, a move reminiscent of Mark Driscoll and edgy Youth Pastors everywhere.

The conference was the first conference ever to be hosted by the FLF Network, a like-minded group of ministries who seem to be centered around the gang at Doug Wilson’s Christ Church and have as their mantra and mission statement:

Together, we fight to expand the Kingdom of God in this world through powerful content. Together, we laugh while learning how to engage cultural topics with consistent Biblical responses. And we feast upon God’s word through biblical studies.

Durbin, as well as being a pastor in Mesa, Arizona, is known for the content produced by Apologia Studio, street preaching at abortion clinics through the ministry of End Abortion Now, and for being an outspoken theonomist.

He’s also known for recording a man confessing his sin and then anonymously releasing those recordings publicly when he deemed the supplicant not sufficiently repentant, judged that way because the confessing man years later gave a biblical critique of an aspect of Durbin’s ministry.

Near the end of the conference message, however, Durbin prepares the audience by contextualizing some choice words he’s about to say, explaining that “we need to say what the prophets said and do what the prophets did. I want to be very careful about what I’m about to do. Because I want you to understand why.”

He explains that the rules in his house dictate that cursing is not allowed and foul language is punished severely, but that desperate times call for desperate measures, explaining that “we have to understand that there are different speed limits at different locations for a reason.”

He points out that Jesus used strong language when dealing with spiritually dangerous things, telling hard truth in hard ways and using a serrated edge when it was called for, demonstrated by several occasions of calling people “sons of hell,” and “whitewashed tombs.”

Durbin quotes Ezekial 16:15-34, which outlines Israel’s harlotry and idolatry when she offered herself to the pagan nations without anything in return, painting Israel as a promiscuous nymphomaniac if the accumulation of other gods were an accumulation of lovers, and speaks of the deep displeasure and harsh words the Lord used when describing that whole mess. Then he goes off.

So in light of these issues, BLM, LBGT, and the abortion issue, evangellyfish woke pastors – you say ‘homolust is not a sin,’ even though Jesus said sin begins in the heart. You say ‘we aren’t under the law, we’re under grace. We don’t need God’s stipulated standards of justice.’ Yet you throw up your marxist communist fists shouting, ‘No justice, no peace!’

You swallowed the member of the Marxist denying what God says about our unity and identity in the Messiah, and you teach people that our identity is in our color. Shame on you. You deny God’s own word, accusing people of guilt for the sinful color of their ancestors.

Thus, you invalidate the word of God for the sake of your woke bulls***.

Durbin continues:

I could do this, by the way, more Pauline if you’d like. You invalidate it for the sake of your skubalon. Or I think if I want to be faithful and I want to say what the prophets say and do what they did, I need to be more like Ezekiel.

The woke evangelical whore is a sl** who lies down in the middle of a burning city, spreading her legs to the rioters and looters, spreading her legs to Marx, Engels, Alinksy, and Soros.

Only she knows the history. Marxism and Communism plunge nations into poverty. There’s’ no money in this for her, but she wasn’t looking for payment anyways.

The evangelical woke sl** is a sl** whose behavior makes Cardi B’s WAP ( A filthy song whose acronym is ‘Wet A** P****’) look like performance art for preschoolers.

Pray that God removes these pimps from the pulpit and fills it with prophets who will keep his bride pure and faithful.

Let’s pray.


The complete video can be seen here.


Categories
News

Thom Rainer Caves To LifeWay Legal Pressure, Will Honor Non-Compete Contract

The peddler of theological poison known as LifeWay Christian Resources, the publishing arm of the Southern Baptist Convention and publisher of all things Beth Moore, announced late Tuesday that they’ve reached an amicable agreement with former President Thom Rainer, one that was settled out of court and will end all legal proceedings.

You’ll recall that we leaked emails a few days ago from LifeWay’s board revealing these four salient points, in the process serving as a bit of a reputation wrecker in the eyes of the commonfolk SBC peasants, unaware that their favored son was acting quite poorly.

1. Dr. Rainer entered into a very lucrative transition agreement that was not disclosed to the board’s compensation and executive committees that would pay him in excess of $1 million.

2. Since his retirement on Feb. 28, 2019, Dr. Rainer has been paid in excess of $1 million plus benefits, not including royalty payments.

3. The transition agreement carried a non-compete clause.

4. Dr. Rainer has clearly violated the non-compete clause by entering into a partnership agreement with a competitor explicitly against his transition agreement.

Now that LifeWay has lifted up Rainer by the scruff of his neck, yelled at him for peeing the proverbial bed, and smacked him on the nose so that he won’t do it again, Rainer acquiesced to the organization’s demands and will honor the terms of his non-compete contract after all, meaning that he can’t move ahead with all those books planned for Tyndale until November 2021, 14 months away.

Rainer also must immediately discontinue any references to Tyndale and the promoting of certain company-owned products according to RNS who have seen a draft, writing:

Under the terms of the agreement, a draft of which was provided to Religion News Service, Rainer must also ‘cease using any and all tags such as @Tyndale, #Tyndale @NLT, #NLT or any other reference to any competitor of Plaintiff, Tyndale,’ on social media. (NLT is the New Living Translation, a Tyndale Bible.)

Rainer has also started returning a portion of the $1,000,000 severance packaged he received, though it’s not clear how much he will or has actually given back . In a statement, Todd Fanning, chairman of LifeWay’s board of trustees said:

Our prayer has always been that this could be resolved between LifeWay and Dr. Rainer amicably. We’re thankful Dr. Rainer agreed to honor his word and commitment to LifeWay, which has been our goal from the beginning. The trustees and Dr. Rainer are looking forward to putting this behind us.

Categories
News

Kyle J. Howard: White Evangelicals Have Devastated the Church by Being White

“Trauma Counsellor” Kyle J. Howard, who behaves as though he himself has never left the “bad place” in his mind and needs to seriously be reprogrammed, continues to lob racist sophistry bombs at “White Evangelicals,” accusing them of of “devasting the church” by having white privilege and simply existing.

Howard made the comments after a round of pushback from well-meaning folk, unaware of his crafty machinations and who took the bait in a previous thread where he made the claim that it’s “spiritually abusive” to ask someone to pray for their enemies, and there is no impetus or imperative to pray for someone who has caused you racial trauma.

Howard’s Twitter feed, which plays out like a showcase of some bizarre race-based trauma porn, states that asking someone who despises Trump to get along with someone who doesn’t is akin to asking a black person to kiss the whip they were abused with, as if by virtue of our skin we’re sitting there with our hands pressing on the back of their neck saying “that’s right. With the lips. Kiss that leather whip with bits of your own bone chips and blood embedded in it, you Trump-hating devil you!”

It’s intimated that even telling a black person that one is voting for Trump is akin to foisting spiritual abuse and racial trauma on that person, an act that will send them scurrying back into madness and the abyss of their own misery.

Though Howard’s devolution into unrelenting hysterics is nearly complete, Howard has likely not reached his final form yet.

We await the next salvo from the accuser of the brethren.

Categories
News

‘Evangelist’ Joshua Feuerstein Harrases Mask-wearing Man at Zoo and Tries to Feed Him Animal Pellets

Demonstrating behavior that wouldn’t be excusable or tolerable for even a 5-year-old, so-called “Christian evangelist” Joshua Feuerstein accosted a man holding a stroller at a petting zoo, mocked him for wearing a face mask, got up in his personal space, shoved his hand full of animal pellets in his face, and mockingly told him he’s just “feeding the sheep.”

Known for making national headlines a few years back when he accused Starbucks of canceling Christmas by introducing generic red coffee cups rather than more festive ones, Joshua Feuerstein is a run-amock Facebook savant. With no ecclesiastical credentials or authority, he makes a career out of spewing needlessly offensive nonsense. To make matters worse, he associates proudly with a cadre of nefarious spiritual knaves and uses his influence to both bolster and promote their careers of shameless self-indulgence.

This is no more true than in the featured video. Though Feuerstein deleted the video after uploading it, we have a copy of it here, courtesy of the pagans at The Friendly Atheist, who also get a hat tip for the story.

After pointing out to Feuerstein that a man walked by them wearing a face mask, despite being outside, the friend dares him to go up to the man and offer him animal pellets, goading him with “you won’t do it.”

Feuerstein, in an act of pure idiocy, is up for the challenge. He walks up to the man and sticks a handful of feed in his face, which the man swats away angry and surprised. When asked by the man what he’s doing, Feuerstein responds.

We’re at the petting zoo, it says, ‘Feed the sheep,’ dude…

In other wretched news, Feuerstein is planning on starting a new church with his wife down in Texas, called “America’s Church” where ostensibly he’ll be the pastor. The church is being billed as one that “Loves God, loves family, and loves their country.” That description, coupled with the prospect of being led by Feuerstein, all but guarantees it will be a hellhole of false doctrine, bad leadership, and Christ-shaming personified.








Categories
abortion Evangelical Stuff Politics

Hillary Clinton: ‘It’s Time for the Church to take a Hard Look at Itself’

Hillary Clinton recently interviewed the Reverend Dr. William Barber on her Podcast “You and Me Both”, talking with Baber as well as several other guests on the topic of religion and faith. It was as maddening, skin-crawling, and headache as one might imagine, with Clinton mentioning in the opening salvo “to me, faith is a deeply personal subject, but it’s also something that informs my politics.” Needless to say, it quickly got to the point where we’d rather listen to an audiobook of a 14-year-old atheist reading the Bible in a condescending voice than we would have to revisit this podcast.

There were four salient sections, however, that we wanted to highlight: The first is a question asked to Barber, which in Clinton poses the following question:

You know, to say that Jesus and justice are the same thing seems to me to be so obvious. I mean, how can you be a Bible reading person, a church-attending person, and not understand how profoundly true that, you know, simple phrase really is. And yet you’ve spent decades now preaching and being an activist. How are you trying to open up people’s minds and hearts to understand what Christianity should mean and what should be expected of us who claim to be followers of Jesus? 

Barber’s answers immediately veers off into social justice, progressive nonsense, which prompts Clinton to comment:

When you think about the very deliberate, concerted effort by one political party to basically try to own Christianity and it overlooks the role of the African-American church, it overlooks, as you say, a lot of theology, a lot of history. It also overlooks this moment in time. You know, Black Lives Matter I view as you know very profoundly as a theological statement. 

The great theologian Hillary Rodham Clinton then speculates on why young men and women are leaving the Church, ascribing it to being too judgmental on things like…homosexuality, abortion, social progressive issues, and likely several other democratic virtues.

Because a lot of people are leaving the church. A lot of young people are leaving the church, in part because the way they understand what Christianity has become is, you know, so judgmental, so alienating that they think to themselves, well, I don’t need that. I don’t want to be part of that. So this should also be a time for the church to take a hard look at itself and try to figure out how it can be a real partner in this moment of moral awakening.  

Finally, though the issue was danced around, Clinton brings it all together in his truly revealing question:

How can they understand that, you know, Jesus and justice mean the same thing if only we are liberated from a political, shortsighted, oppressive religion? And once again, you know, our fellow seekers. How would you address those who are really hurting right now? 

Where’s that audio book again?

Categories
News

Amid Financial Scandal, Vatican Released First Budget in Years – It’s a lot of Money

In a move that would have Tetzel spinning in his grave, the Vatican has released their budget, balance sheet, and earnings statement for the first time in nearly 5 years, a move prompted by the insistence on more financial transparency after several high-profile financial scandals.

The Economy Prefect Rev. Juan Antonio Guerrero Alves, commented publicly that faithful Roman Catholics have a right to know they are spending their money and utilizing their vast holdings, quoted Pope Francis that “the economy of Holy See must be as transparent as a glass house,” acknowledging:

It’s possible that in some cases, the Holy See has been not only poorly counseled but also defrauded. I think we’re learning from the errors or imprudent (decisions) of the past.

The move comes as the Roman Curia deals with a major scandal, with the third-highest ranking Cardinal resigning after being accused of spending over $900,000 of Vatican funds to bribe witnesses in a sex abuse case against one of his rivals.

According to RNS:

The report shows the Vatican Curia earned more than $360 million in 2019, with an expenditure of almost $374 million, leaving a deficit of about $14 million, which is an improvement from the over $88 million deficit it incurred the previous year. 

The net assets reported in the budget amount to more than $1.6 billion (with the vast majority of assets never being appraised – if they were, estimates would add another $7 billion to that number).

The official numbers refer specifically to the Roman Curia, which comprises the 60 institutions and departments charged with administering and enacting Pope Francis’ goals for integral human development, evangelization and education projects.

The figures do not include the budgets of the Vatican Museums, donations to the Peter’s Pence charitable fund, the Vatican bank or numerous other funds and institutions, which together brought in over $4.7 billion in 2019.

The total assets of the Roman Catholic Church, and not just the Vatican, however, has long been considered impossible to assess, though certainly, it would be one of, if not the wealthiest entities on earth.

The Church has an estimated 620,000 sq miles of land that they own, having embassies, convents, churches, cathedrals, monasteries, schools, and other private holdings. They have an estimated 10 billion in investments in foreign companies, have art, gold, statues, priceless books, and enormous funds. The church paid out nearly 3 billion dollars in sex-abuse cases in the United States alone.

Categories
Charismatic Nonsense Evangelical Stuff Money Grubbing Heretics

Bethel Church Shuts Down their ‘School of Supernatural Ministry’ Due to COVID Fears…Again…

Does God cause Sickness? “I refuse to create a theology that allows for sickness… You can only give away what you have. Can God give away sickness? No: He’s not sick. You can’t give cancer if you don’t have it….Does God ever choose not to heal? No. ~Bill Johnson.

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In a deliciously ironic turn of events that will never be appreciated by head healer Bill Johnson and the charismaniacs at Bethel Church in Redding, California, the School of Supernatural Ministry (SSM) has announced that they are discontinuing in-person classes and transitioning to online-based zoom learning due to several students and teachers coming down sick with the coronavirus. The School of Supernatural Ministry is currently operating at 70% capacity, having close to 1600 students.

Amid criticism within the community that Bethel SSM students have been spreading COVID-19 from within the school and giving it to the outside community, senior associate leader Kris Valloton said that the infections are coming from off-campus, with strict protocols in place for the school itself in terms of cleanliness, hygiene, and social distancing.

Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry focuses much of its culture and experiences on the miraculous, and describes its mission in part:

“The school is designed to equip students not just to minister in the gifts of the Spirit but to live a supernatural lifestyle. You experience life-changing revelation about yourself and the world around you as you become aware of the Kingdom within you and are encouraged to be naturally supernatural by bringing heaven to earth wherever you go. We believe Jesus meant it when He taught us to pray “Your Kingdom come…on earth as it is in Heaven.”

Rather than healing the students with the coronavirus, however, Bethel Church has demonstrated that they are unable to rise to the supernatural occasion, choosing instead to quarantine whole classes with nary a supernatural shake of the little finger to be seen.

In addition to classes moving to Zoom, Bethel has announced they will likewise cancel their next few in-person church services, which aren’t even been held indoors, but rather outdoors at the old baseball diamond.

Lest one ask why Bethel doesn’t send these poor sick souls to visit the “healing houses” and “healing rooms” that they’ve had set up across the city, where people can come and get supernaturally healed from cancer, short legs, back backs, deafness, leukemia, unspecified foot pain, and a host of other physical maladies, the healing rooms have been shut down for nearly 8 months due to fear of catching COVID-19.