Original Protestia Song Parody: 'Try That In a Small Church'

Here at Protestia, we like to create the occasional bit of parody to poke and prod folks to better works, and what better way than with Jason Aldean’s ‘Try That In A Small Town‘?

Our rendition, created by David Morill, seeks to expose the shenanigans of large seeker-sensitive churches, by directly referencing recent events and news stories that we’ve covered. Type ‘Mario’ or ‘Barbie’ in our search bar and it’ll break your heart.

Try That in a Small Church

Grab a latte from the church coffee shop
Dim the lights low and rock out with the praise band
Sing a song about a Jesus who’s your boyfriend
Then watch a TED talk focused on the enneagram
That’s gettin’ old but I heard next week’s
sermon’s on Barbie don’t you know
Yeah, or Mario

Try that in a small church
See how far we let that nonsense go
‘Round here we preach and sing the word-(you praise yourself)
It won’t take long for you to find out we serve a holy God
Try that in a small church

Got a Bible leather-bound KJV
You’re in skinny jeans and shoes that cost a thousand bucks
Just give me my old-time religion
With a potluck

Try that in a small church
Full of sons of God that preach His might
If you’re looking for Christ/ find Him in a small church

Find Him in a small church
See how far we let that nonsense go
‘Round here we preach and sing the word-(you compromise)
It won’t take long for you find out we serve a holy God
Find him in a small church

From the troublemakers @Protestia: "Try That in a Small Church" – featuring @tomascol, @VoddieBaucham, @tim__stephens, James Coates, @paulwasher, and our friend @TomBuck. @TheBabylonBee, how'd we do? pic.twitter.com/2EapZAtnlV
— David Morrill (@coconservative7) August 16, 2023