Breaking: John MacArthur Restructures GCC in Light of Scandal, Brings on Beth Moore as ‘Consultant’

In memos obtained exclusively by Protestia, Pastor John Macarthur of Grace Community Church is set to announce to the congregation this coming Sunday that the elders have approved a restructuring plan for the California megachurch. This is the result of hemorrhaging membership, plummeting giving, and widespread walkouts that have been going on at the Master’s Seminary over the last month, on account of investigative journalist Julie Roys’ blistering articles detailing the famous coverup and complicity in child abuse by the church. (see Here, Here and Here) for more information.

Taking place at a members meeting following the last service, MacArthur is revealing that ever since this article brought Christendom to a standstill, detailing the abusive way that GCC has been handling their church discipline process, membership is down nearly 70%, giving down 80% and that over 700 students at their seminary engaged in a walk-out holding signs and marching around the administrative building, chanting “Ay-Oh, Ay-Oh, John MacArthur’s got to go!” Reportedly, there hasn’t been a baptism or salvation at the church since the first article dropped.

Furthermore, nearly half their international missionary contingency have asked to return stateside, saying that they cannot minister effectively when, to quote one Missionary Dred Hutler, “every third word out of the native’s mouth is ‘David Gray’ and I have no idea what to tell them anymore.”

While MacArthur will be going on Fox News’ Todd Starnes show on a mini-media blitz to try to undo some of the damage and detail the changes happening at the church, we can confirm that one of Roy’s casualties will be longtime mainstay Phil Johnson, who tendered his resignation at the beginning of the week and who has been a bitter foe of Roys. Phil does not intend to publicly reveal his future plans for now, but we have learned that now that he’s no longer associated and formally tied to GCC, he will finally be taking up heretic-enabler Dr. Michael Brown’s multiple offers to debate and relitigate the Stange Fire at the start of the summer, something he’s been dying to do forever, but was unable to due to a social media clause in his contract forbidding him from acting testily towards the charismatic gadfly.

In what is perhaps the most drastic turn of events, the senior leadership team brought on several PR consultants and “church culture auditors” to review how the breakdown occurred, hiring Julie Roys herself to lead the investigation. Given broad powers, and perhaps enjoying a taste of irony, Roys brought on Beth Moore and tasked her with reviewing the harmful effects that complementarianism has had on the church. The rest of the team is made up primarily of the group that just concluded investigating Hillsong. Reportedly, they’ve been there for several days already behind the scenes and already found several instances of the inevitable culture of fear and silence that the patriarchy brings.

A source close to Moore told us she only agreed to help and put herself back in the public eye and open herself to critique on the condition that she’d also be able to include a few of her books in the GCC library, get a snapshot of her and MacArthur (which we’ve obtained above) and preach the next Mothers Day sermon, laughingly remarking at one point:

“Three years John MacArthur told me to ‘go home’. Who could have thought back then that he’d meant his own?!”

While we at Protestia understand the pressure that exists when an article so universally acclaimed, immaculately researched, and profusely praised can ruin 40 years of ministry and cause unmitigated chaos within a church, grinding them to a standstill and causing all their supporters to turn on them, we would encourage MacArthur and the elders at GCC not to give in to the demands of these theological harpies.

Stay the course. This too will come to pass.

Editor’s Note. This is an April Fool’s post.

25 thoughts on “Breaking: John MacArthur Restructures GCC in Light of Scandal, Brings on Beth Moore as ‘Consultant’

    1. Start creating money from home. It is a terribly nice and simple job. I am a daily student and half time work from home. I made $18732 last month on-line acting from home. hjk. Everybody will do that job and make additional money by following this link and a lot of details……..

  1. When Roys discovers that MacArthur didn’t know about any sexual abuse at the time of the so-called “shaming” in 2002, will she publicly repent? Or will she cover up her sins?

    1. Since she’s being made privy to the private information pertaining to the Grays, she is going to have to report something. If she doesn’t, she’ll be complicit in a cover-up of her own, one way or the other – her sins or someone else’s. She should know if MacArthur is as evil as she has made him out to be, he wouldn’t have invited her in, lest he open himself up to criminal prosecution. As far as that goes, she should also have had sense enough to know that if he did anything wrong back then, the church would’ve ousted him 20 years ago – otherwise all 1000+ members of the church would be in on a vast conspiracy. Even with respect to over-disciplining, which was known in 2002, and for which both Eileen and David confessed, if it had risen to the level of abuse, they would’ve all seen the physical evidence.

      If I had to guess, I’d say she’s far too proud to ever publicly repent of bearing false witness, and to make any effort to set the record straight, lest she harm her big time “journalism” career. She will likely remain silent. And that silence will speak volumes.

        1. Sorry bud, you have to prove your accusations. Screaming “Baloney!” every five minutes doesn’t cut it.

  2. This article is factually correct and true in every respect, thanks for your candor. Yes indeed even the perfect can be wrong at times and religion forbid even admit it. May be the first time but hey you gotta start somewhere.

    1. No, it’s no joke. It’s 100% true. Has protestia ever lied to you? Okay maybe just a little bit but this article is simply pretending to be parody when in fact it’s stating the obvious truth about JM’s camp and his subservient lemming followers.

  3. If that many people are walking out on John MacArthur’s Church it seems to me that the great apostasy is starting!

  4. April Fools! This does, however, highlight a problem for all mega-churches due to size. The big crowd will tend to follow the culture instead of trying to lead culture in a better direction. Mega churches will all eventually drift doctrinally down, spare the pain and stop at a membership of 600. After that divide into a new church plus the old one, rinse and repeat.

  5. Hahaha, what a fake picture. I didn’t realize this site was satire. I was getting mad until I saw that. Hilarious

  6. Meth Boor to the rescue. What’s her cut $$ in the deal? Lmao total meltdown. Joel Osteen handled a crisis better

  7. It would’ve been an even bigger and better April fools joke if you said MacArthur had announced he was converting to the church of Rome and giving up his post at GCC.

  8. Your attempt at a April Fools joke for such a serious subject is in need of writing a piece asking for forgiveness of your readers and John MacArthur. As you can tell by many of the comments, this article was NOT FUNNY!

  9. Aren’t you a Pastor? Do you not have anything to do? Take off that stupid hat, quit trying to grow your audience with cutesy videos (like all of the other show-biz “preachers”) and tend to your flock.

  10. if everything Julie Roy says about the king err I mean John Mac is wrong. then why such a drop in everything. And since Beth Moore per the king err JM is in sin why would he ask her to come by and help??????? The problem with the evangelical industrial complex is its steady flow of “godly men” being nothing more than malignant narcissists ruling a fiefdom and not a church and a flock that put more faith in the King vs The real KING. Our faith is real simple. Jesus was born, he spent several years teaching people what God wants vs man then died on the cross for our salvation. The evangelicals going back to 300AD (and add the popes) have taken something that simple and created hundred’s of denominations all saying “we got the right bead on salvation and not you”. Think of all the OPINIONS on scripture vs my bro Jesus talked about. the poor and widows and what will happen if you hurt children. Now compare that to the Kings that stands in pulpits each Sunday and remind us “I the pastor” is all knowing NOT you serfs. See they have become self appointed Kings and they keep there princes close to them and as we know, nobody argues with the king.

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