Kyle J. Howard Claims He Received Death Threats From Evangelicals For Attending Christian Conference

Kyle J. Howard has taken a break from his usual sensationalistic race-baiting comments to engage in his second favorite activity: some good old fashioned telling of tall tales.

The theological misanthrope, who has never met a white person who didn’t cause him some degree of trauma, claims that in 2018, he received death threats from various evangelicals, menacing him and promising to literally kill him if he attended a Christian conference put on by The Gospel Coalition and The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC).

It is unclear what specific comminations were being made – whether it was vague ones like threatening like to snipe him from 300 feet away, or if they were oddly specific – “Kyle…if you attend MLK50 and sit through the plenary talk by Matt Chandler or John Piper…and specifically Jackie Hill Perry’s message on ‘Equipping the Next Generation to Embrace Gospel Diversity’ I’m going to choke you out.”

Thankfully, he says he sat next to security near the front, ostensibly so that the assassins wouldn’t be able to sneak into the church and sit behind him while he was worshiping- sticking him with a syringe full of potassium chloride while he was distracted singing “Come Thou Font of Every Blessing.”

We rate Howards’ claim, 3/5 Ananias and Sapphira’s.

Note: We don’t believe a word Howard says because he is known for his exaggerations and complete fabrication. This is why we’ve had a running bounty of $3000 to anyone who can bring proof that Howard was a gun-toting gang member for the Crips. [Editor’s note: Maybe he was. I surmise that it was “in his heart.” It would explain why nobody has claimed that $3000 reward for proof. Can you invite the Crips into your heart like some invite Jesus?]

Lest anyone forget, Howard was born in incredible privilege, with the proverbial silver spoon placed there by two attorney parents. He was raised in an affluent Atlanta suburb. His brother capitalized on his privilege and became an attorney like his parents before him and Howard has been a professional student for most of his life.

However, Howard claims in his website bio that in High School he became “heavily immersed” in the Crips gang. Howard claims he carried a razor blade in his mouth, a .38 revolver on his hip, and drugs in his pocket. [Editor’s note: Wasn’t that a song by the Monks? Drugs in My Pocket, from the album Bad Habits. Kind of like lying about being in a gang…]

Also according to Howard, he lived a double life, selling drugs at night but doing high school debate and keeping up his academics during the day. His parents apparently weren’t aware of his secret life as a Crips member because he would intellectually debate his parents over supper and then go smoke weed and live the thug life.

Howard also claims he was a “battle rapper” in the “underground circuit” while excelling at his High School Latin class.

Howard claims that upon meeting his future wife, he gradually walked away from all the gang activity (in the 11th grade – lol) and they let him go willingly. [Editor’s note: The normal way you leave the Crips is in a body bag.] Howard states that his then future wife was oblivious to his gang activity as well (this leaves a total of zero people who can substantiate Howard’s claims).

If you’re asking why he would make up stories that would make even Ergun Caner blush, it’s simple: with someone as privileged (and white-privileged at that) as Kyle J. Howard is, it’s critically important that he identify with the victim class.

To do so, he claims he was a secret gang member in high school, thus establishing his intersectionality creds.

So no. We don’t believe him for a second. If he wants to name names we would welcome that. But until he does, it’s just another Howardian allegation, and we know how seriously we should take those.

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