Breaking: Supreme Court Declines to Hear Satanists Abortion Suit

Followers of the “Father of lies” who hoped to get a hearing for their court case challenging and overturning Missouri’s pro-life laws were left feeling damned and disappointed after the supreme court declined their lawsuit and dismissed it. This was the final nail in the coffin for the Plaintiff, Judy Doe, who had been claiming that the abortion restrictions violated the tenets of her satanic faith.

According to the unfriendly Friendly Atheist (TFA):

“As the law stands in Missouri if a woman wants an abortion, the state requires her to wait 72 hours before obtaining one, hands her a booklet designed to change her mind by saying life begins at conception, requires her to be given the option of looking at an ultrasound which is supposed to guilt-trip her out of having the abortion and makes her sign a document saying she was given the book and ultrasound opportunity.

The sketchy Satanists, who were last seen raffling off a free abortion (really) have been appealing their case, “Doe, Judy v. Parson, Gov. of MO, after being ruled against or dismissed every step of the way since they took it up in 2019.

The suit has been claiming that Missouri and their pesky anti-baby-killing regulations (Editor’s note. These states need to stop it with the wheel-spinning pro-life regulation and engage in some robust abortion abolition) violates the Plaintiff’s “First Amendment right to “exercise [her] freedom to believe abortion is not immoral and act upon their belief without interference or influence by the State of Missouri.

Specifically, they say it “violates her belief in The Satanic Tenets as a condition for getting an abortion in Missouri.” In this case, that tenet is “one’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.”

Though they may be defeated, for now, they’ll likely put their bad intentions to bad use in the near future, and we’ll be here to talk about it when they do.



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