Tag: prophecy

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Pat Robertson Tells Trump to Give Up and ‘Move on’ After Prophecying his Victory

Televangelist Pat Robertson, 90, the living embodiment of the expression “creeping decrepitude has finally crept up on me,” has contradicted a prophecy he gave several months ago where he declared Trump was going to win the election, now saying about the President, “You’ve had your day and it’s time to move on.”

Robertson is no stranger to self-contradiction and absurdity. He’s been deceiving millions of people for literally decades, telling supporters that it’s ok for a husband to divorce a wife with Alzheimer’s, that Christians who believe in creationism are stupid, blaming wives for their husbands cheating on them, and a host of other nonsensical things.

Now, though he specifically prophecied that Trump would win a second term and that after a few years an asteroid would strike the earth and demolish it, he’s now saying that it’s not to be, and that Biden will take the win.

In a transcript poached from our frenemies at the hive of scum and villainy known as the Friendly Atheist, Robertson tells The 700 Club (so named because less than 700 people out of his million audience members are even Christians):

 I think it is all over.  I think the Electoral College has spoken. I think the Biden corruption has not totally been brought to fruition, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting the Electoral College, and I don’t think the Supreme Court is going to move in to do anything, and I think we [are] going to see a President Biden, and I also think we will be seeing a President Kamala Harris not too long after the inauguration of President Biden.

With all his talent, and the ability to raise money and draw large crowds, the president still lives in an alternate reality. He really does. People say, “Well, he lies about this, that, and the other.” But no, he isn’t lying. To him, that’s the truth.  He had the biggest crowd on Inauguration Day. He had more people than ever (?), he was the most popular… he saved NBC with The Apprentice.  You go down the line of things that really aren’t true, and you know, people kept pointing to them, but, because they loved him so much and he was so strong for the evangelicals, the evangelicals were with him all the way.

But there was something about him that was good, that God placed him in that office… he’s done a marvelous job for the economy, but at the same time, he is very erratic, and he’s fired people, and he’s fought people, and he’s insulted people, and keeps going down the line, so it’s a mixed bag.

And I think it would be well to say: You’ve had your day and it’s time to move on.

Though Robertson doesn’t acknowledge this direct contradiction to his earlier prophecy (oh yeah, he also falsely prophecied twice that the world would end in 1982 and then 2007), his shifty shenanigans are par for the course for charismatic ne’er do well‘s. It’s what they do. They blaspheme in God’s name and then move on as if they never said it and we don’t have video of them lying through their teeth.

May Robertson repent, or be rent in two.

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Charismatic Nonsense Church Conspiracy News

Charismatic Prophetess Kat Kerr: ‘God and the Angels Call Biden ‘Sleepy Joe’ Too’

When charismatic “prophetess” and Dr. Michael Brown-approved seer Kat Kerr isn’t commanding 100 million angels to guard the RNC, or making a fool of herself when she tries to control the weather, she making daily trips up to heaven, claiming to have gone up and visited heaven thousands of times, to the point she has lost count.

Such a celebrated celestial tourist has naturally made other charismatics inquisitive about what the afterlife is like, what Jesus, God and the angels are up to, and what sort of mystical revelations she’s been given to bring back to the mere mortals on earth.

It was on this occasion that interviewer Steve Shultz, who oversees a litany of crazy-as-a-rat-in-a-coffee-can malcontent prophets at the Elijah List, (whom incidentally, not a one predicted the pandemic) asked Kerr whether or not God is shocked or disappointed when Trump does something bad.

Absolutely not. He knows exactly who he’s going to pick and you all know none of us are perfect. Is that correct? But he chooses. You know God’s seen the beginning and the end, and he knows exactly who he needs to do those jobs.

After letting us in on a prophetic word that President Trump will win a second term and then after he wins Vice President Pence will run and secure another 8 years, she gives some insider baseball on the nature of those rascally and rapscallion angels, letting us know that heaven is essentially one big MAGA rally.

“God likes bold personalities and I can tell you this: passionate people, that means they’re expressive, they’re fierce about what they believe in, and sometimes those people maybe go over a line we don’t like, but he’s not shocking God at all. That means it’s not necessarily okay, but you get it with the package, ok? And he is definitely accomplishing everything God wants.”

“And Actually, this is hilarious, the angels sometimes will repeat the very things that Trump say. Like they call him ‘Sleepy Joe.’ When God had me prophesying up in Colorado, he actually said these words, ‘Why would you pick a villain for a president when I have already sent you a superhero?’ That would be Trump.”

Lest anyone think that prophtess Kerr is suffering from altituide sickness from her many heavenly voyages, she is not on the fringes of continuationism and charasmaticism, but rather is in the mainstream and represents the center.

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120 Days in, Dr. Michael Brown Silent on Failed, Wagered Charismatic COVID-19 Prophecies

120 days ago, Dr. Michael Brown, chief enabler of all that is theologically weird and always eager to platform, promote, and advance every crazy-as-a-rat-in-a-coffee-can charismatic leader not named Todd Bentley, made a public wager on the truthfulness, veracity, and inspiration of some charismatic coronavirus prophecies.

Titled This is a Great Time to Test Contemporary Prophetic Words, the purpose of the post was to say that two charismatic rockstar prophets of God have made some prophecies about COVID-19 and that we should test them.

Specifically, that “two well-known charismatic prophets, Chuck Pierce and Tracy Cooke, have spoken of a clear “shift” (or “diminishing”) that will take place with COVID-19 by the end of Passover. “ With the final day of Passover being April 16, 2020

Brown wrote:

If these words come to pass, then skeptics and mockers should take notice while Christians who do not believe in prophecy today should rethink their views and look at the Scriptures afresh.

If these words do not come to pass, those of us who do believe in prophecy today should ask some serious questions, including how we deal with inaccurate or false prophecies in our midst. (And yes, the skeptics and mockers will have more fuel for their fire while non-charismatic Christians will challenge us to rethink our views.)

It is beyond dispute that this shift or ‘diminishing’ of the coronavirus did not happen by mid -April. Instead, lockdowns intensified and are in still in place in many cities and countries. Some states never even really left lockdown. Countries across the world are bracing for second waves and the cases and death toll are rising evermore, and have been rising since the prophecy was given.


At the end of the prophecy deadline, April 16th there were 2,006,659 cases of COVID-19 worldwide and 136,387 deaths. Now, four months after the prophecy deadline, there are 21,026,758 cases, as of August 15th, and 755,786 deaths, with the number still growing.

Given that there was no diminishing or shifting, but rather increasing and expanding, integrity would demand that Dr. Michael Brown publicly declare that these two men, Chuck Pierce and Tracy Cooke prophesied some Grade A bovine scatology and that these words did not come to pass.

In fact, not a single charismatic prophet prophecied the novel coronavirus at all. These were their two last hopes that surely one of their kind prophecied it, and the whole thing has gone down in flames. Literally.

Dr. Brown should take the ‘L’ and publicly rebuke the false prophets and make good on his word to rethink how he and his fellow continuationists deal with this. That should have been done four months ago, on April 17th, actually. Yet 120 days in, still not a peep.

Dr. Brown, you made the wager, and now the cessationists have come to collect.