Shiver me Timbers! Ayye Ye Scurvy Matey! New ‘Pirate Bible’ Translation of the Scriptures Released
A new and novel translation of the Bible has been released, containing the entirety of the Old and Testament in….pirate-speak? According to the publishers:
The Pirate Bible is a complete translation of the King James Version of the Bible into pirate-speak. All of the original books, chapters, verses, stories and characters are present, but the dialogue has been rewritten to bring an entertaining, swashbuckling flavor to the pages. Each book of the Bible is included; guaranteed to bring a smile. This is an excellent gift for anyone who loves the Bible, but also enjoys a lighthearted take on the stories it contains.
Explaining that “The translation was completed entirely using Artificial Intelligence and a fine-tuned algorithm” the creators note that “we worked hard to find a formula that produced true, pirate-like speech while still preserving the meaning of the original text.”
The Pirate Bible is the first translation paraphrase of the Bible done 100% by Artificial Intelligence. While it may be highly problematic, the technology does open the door to creating bible versions with fewer references to scurvy dogs and instead more faithful renditions for people groups who don’t yet have a bible in their language. Some of the translated verses include:
Galatians 5:18-21 (KJV)18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:18-21 (Pirate Bible)18 But if ye be led by the wind, ye ain’t subject to the Code. Ayy, the scurvy deeds of the scallywag be plain to see: adultery, fornicatin’, uncleanliness, and lecherousness. Mutiny, voodoo, avast hatred, arguin’, lookin’ fer a fight, bombs burstin’ with rage, scallywags at each other’s throats, blasphemous thinkin’, and mutinous notions! Arrr, envyin’s an’ murders, guzzlin’ grog an’ revelries, o’ th’ likes o’ that, I be tellin’ ye afore, as I said afore t’ those what do such, that they won’t inherit th’ kingdom o’ God.
The creators of this bible have responded to criticisms of its creation, specifically the claim that it’s blasphemy, by saying their version prompts more questions about what the real bible says. It’s for that reason they include a free KJV with every purchase.
The Passion Translation and the Message Bible have been put on notice: there’s a new, even more accurate competition to contend with.
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people are just dumb
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Probably still better than The Message.
Unquestionably, matey.
According to Revelation, God will make those responsible for this Bible “walk the plank”.
It’s weird and my initial reaction was disgust. But then I saw where they are not just doing this in a vacuum, but also providing a real translation. It’s not so bad.
It reminds me of when my children were little, and I would do re-enactments of Bible stories using various stuffed animals and toys. I often used dialogue and sound effects from outside sources; for example, Goliath talked like the love child of Freddie Krueger and Jack Torrance from The Shining, and when Delilah showed up on the scene, the beginning of Tone Loc’s “Wild Thing” would play.
Likely superior to the Toilet Paper Translation too 🧻🚽
OK, I’ve had enough. I’m going to invent a flying Delorean, go back in time, track down Gutenberg, and disappear him before he invents anything. See y’all la
I’ve bought my copy already, me hearties. The publisher’s port o’call is Provo, UT and according to the piratebible.com site, the boilerplate for the free accompanying KJV states “Free Bible will be delivered separately by emissaries from a local church”.
Hello Latter Day Saints.
However, imagine a worship service on a beach somewhere in which the ragtag beach bums are assembled in a tiki hut or Land Shark bar before hours with the public reading’ of the Word from the Pirate Bible. Who knows what the Almighty might accomplish through this fresh translation, e’en though it may seem a bit keel-hauled.