Woke Lutheran Denom’s First Major Gathering in 3 Years to Discuss Upcoming Proposals Will Be Wild, Wild, Wild!
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) is set to have its triennial gathering of Churchwide Assembly on August 8-12. Happening only once every three years, nearly 900 voting members of the wicked and perverse denomination, representing 3 million wicked and perverse members, will descend on the Greater Columbus Convention Center in Columbus, Ohio, to discuss new business and hammer out some new resolutions. According to a press release by the heretical pagans:
ELCA Presiding Bishop Elizabeth A. Eaton will open the assembly on Tuesday, Aug. 9, with a land acknowledgment noting that the gathering is taking place on the original and ancestral homelands of the Shawnee, Miami and Kaskaskia peoples. Tribal leaders from the Miami Nation will bring welcome to the assembly.
The church is pledging to be very strict with all attendees. Anyone going must either be fully vaccinated for must provide proof of a negative status 1-3 days before attending. Furthermore, all participants “must wear N95, KN95, KF94 or medical procedure (surgical) masks must be worn while inside the convention center and attending worship.”
Along with reviewing budget proposals for the upcoming years and electing a Vice President, participants will be voting on amendments to the constitutions, bylaws, and continuing resolutions that address social justice issues and matters relating to the structure of the ELCA. These proposals (known as memorials) include:
Greenhouse gas reduction; gun violence; LGBTQIA+ welcome; pastoral counseling as a result of changes to Roe v. Wade; the land back movement; ELCA governance restructure; specialized ministries and on leave from call status; and review and revision of the ELCA social statement Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust, adopted by the 2009 Churchwide Assembly.
The Land Back movement is a darling of the ELCA, which involves giving reparations and organizing and sacrificing to get Indigenous lands back into Indigenous hands by returning any land and structures built on the land back to native tribes. Prior to this. the ELCA passed a resolution “acknowledging and repenting from the church’s complicity in the evils of colonialism in the Americas, which continue to harm tribal governments and individual tribal members.”
Coupled that with environmental zealotry and pastoral counseling on account of Roe v Wade being overturned, and we’re in for quite a ride.
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The Only wicked one is you. Go fuck yourself.
Spoken like a true ELCA pastrix, Wendy. I speak from experience when I say, your denomination has about as much in common with Christianity as Hundus.
I think Johnny is back using a new made up pronoun.
Is that you or your demon speaking?
I view this as a form of cultural syncretism. Some forget that we are to be in the world but not of it.