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Drag Queen UMC Pastor Releases F-Bomb Laden ‘Slam Poem’ Torching The Bible as Uninspired

What a weird title, I know, but it’s hard to tell which denomination is the most apostate. The Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) usually eventually pulls ahead of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and the United Methodist Church in a race to see who is going to hell in a handbag the fastest, but this time the UMC really got a good head start thanks to this young man.

‘Pastor’ Issac Simmons is a 24-year-old openly gay man who’s been cheered and celebrated for being a drag queen performer of some notoriety named ‘ Ms. Penny Cost.’ Simmons, who speaks at UMC churches demon-holes across the country, uploaded a new ‘slam poem’ video on his website, and it is something to behold.

Blatantly titled “The Bible is Nothing” the video contains blasphemy, profanity, homoerotic references, a denial of God, and a posture of menace towards the scripture. Some of the lyrics are:

The Bible is nothing
Nothing but poetry pain and performance.
The bible is no more holy than Allen Ginsburg’s howls of life
No more peaceful than Oscar Wilde’s Requiescat in pace,
And no more stronger than Tammy F*cking Faye’s g*ddamn eyelash glue….

God must be f*cking nothing
If her… transubstantiated bodies of color are rundown,
beaten and strewn in the streets of America.

How can you know, how dare you say that the words of the Bible are literal
When my queer siblings know them best as literal bullets and batons,
lashes of liturgy and stings of Scripture
The bible is nothing.

God must be nothing. God must be nothing if her rainbow bedazzled, armour dissipated around Matthew Shepard as he cried his last tears.
God must be nothing if she allowed the pulse of her self portraits
to wither away in that bloodied Orlando nightclub

God is nothing, but if she were
She would be a seamstress, of divine couture,
weaving together string theory and self-portraits to form the fiercest gowns of queer existence

The Bible is nothing. God is nothing
Religion is nothing but an ostentatious,
Over the topness, internalization of white twink Nelly bottom realness
(Ed. Note. a really effeminate young gay man who likes to be penetrated rather than to penetrate)
God is nothing but a drag queen
With a microphone of biblical f*cking proportions

It’s enough to make even the demons die of second-hand embarrassment.

h/t Juicy Ecumenism

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Church Evangelical Stuff Heresies LGBTQQIP2SAA

Jonathan Merrit: Women can Lead Churches Because they have Cracked Nipples when they Breastfeed

Jonathan Merritt, the gay son of megachurch pastor, James Merritt, and a journalist who has become a favorite of the Evangelical Intelligentsia who was last seen promoting “theistic evolution”, surprised no one today when he shared and lauded a clip from promoting what he understatedly described as “subversive spiritual commentary.” He further declared his thankfulness that his own apostate church “holds space” for these kinds of brilliant and “honest” actualizations.

The clip, which is a poem by Kaitlin Hardy Shetler written in 2018 and delivered by Genay Jackson (she/her) in 2020, offers a unique justification of why women should be able to lead services and preach to men: because they experience pain in childbirth and mental anguish over breastfeeding, which overrides 1 Timothy 2:11-12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35.

Sometimes I wonder if Mary breastfed Jesus. If she cried out when he bit her, or if she sobbed when he would not latch.

And sometimes I wonder if this is all too vulgar to ask in a church full of men without milkstains on their shirts, or coconut oil on their breasts, preaching from pulpits off-limits to the mother of God.

But then I think of feeding Jesus, birthing Jesus, the expulsion of blood and the smell of sweat. The salt of a mother’s tears on to the soft head of the salt of the earth. Feeling lonely and tired. Hungry, annoyed. Overwhelmed, loving.

And I think ‘if the vulgarity of birth is not honestly preached by men who carry power but not burden, who carry privilege, but not labor, who carry authority, but not submission, then it should not be preached at all.

Because the real scandal of the birth of God lies in the cracked nipples of a 14-year-old and not in the sermons of ministers who say women are too delicate to lead.

Ironically, it’s this sort of commentary and feministic Gnosticism that demonstrates exactly why women should not be leading a congregation or preaching, coconut oil and cracked nipples be damned.