In recent weeks Protestia has uncovered that not only is Stanley gay-affirming, but rather several ministry heads are as well. We wrote how when parents come to them with concerns and counseling regarding their struggling LGBTQ+ children, North Point recommends an affirming ministry for the parents, and affirming ministries and counselors for the children. Furthermore, in a few months, North Point Community Church is hosting a conference for a gay-affirming ministry where one of the main speakers will be Justin Lee, the founder of the world’s largest LGBTQ Christian advocacy organization that is dedicated to advancing the acceptance and celebration of homosexuality in the church.
In a message at the 2022 Q Christian Fellowship conference, the aforementioned largest gay advocacy organization, Debbie Causey, an affirming pastrix who is the Director of Care ministries for North Point, and Amy Blakeless, an affirming ministry leader and head of Parent Connect, offer cautions for why parents of LBGTQ+ children should avoid their church.
Rather than framing their church as a place where those feelings and attractions can be mortified with the power of the Holy Spirit, encouraging them to get involved in a ministry where their children are not affirmed but instead will hear the truth that seeks to see them sanctified and delivered, Causey warns them away from the church and the gospel that might transform them.
Amy: My name is Amy Blakeslee and I’m very excited to be here. And my pronouns are she/her and I identify as gay. I live in Atlanta, Georgia, and love coffee. So I have background working with parents and family of LGBTQ+ individuals and love them. And so I’m looking forward to having this conversation tonight.
Debbie: And I’m Debbie Causey, my pronouns are she/her. I identify as straight, I guess. I am a parent of a gay son that’s 25. And Amy and I led a ministry together called Parent Connect, where we met with and -not dealt with- but interacted with lots of parents whose kids were coming out…and so, you know, my reason for being here is just my love for my son, and just the LGBTQ+ community that I’ve gotten to know, through the years, so yeah, that’s us.
Debbie: Here comes Jen’s question…how do you advise someone to navigate around others in their church who are not supportive of parents of an LGBTQ+ plus child?
Amy.. because my personal experience in a non-affirming church has been that it takes a lot of, it’s a long journey for a lot of religious leaders to- or even just people in the church- to, you know it was long for me, you know.
I had a very different belief system based on what I was taught when I was growing up, and it probably took me about four years to come to be somebody who is safe. So not to say to give up on them, but I would focus more on the parents themselves than on the church member members who are not supportive. But Debbie if you have any more helpful thoughts for the church members.
Debbie: Well, it says ‘navigate around others’, and this is something that made, you know, Jen very angry, and we get that all the time.
I think it’s to encourage those parents to have that inner circle. You know, you’re gonna grow a pretty tough skin, and unfortunately, that’s through micro-aggressions and hard things that you’ll experience as parents as well.
But they need to have an inner circle, and then sometimes I just tell them, ‘hey, our church might not be a safe place for you….I want you to be in a safe spot.’
So it just depends on those parents and how much they’re willing to kind of take on. But if they’re in a situation where it’s constant, I would want to get them out of there. Or at least have an inner circle that can be supportive of them, including you being part of that inner circle.
But yeah, we can’t protect others, unfortunately, I wish I could. We can’t protect our LGBTQ+ community. I wish we could. I work for a very large church so I’m in this all the time in this situation, and you’re right, it’s not fun.”
For those who need support and resources, Causey concludes by recommending Embracing the Journey, the pro-LGBTQ+ organization and ministry partner of North Point Community Church.
