Tag: drunk

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Evangelical Stuff Featured Heresies Money Grubbing Heretics

Joel Osteen Claims Jacob Slept with Wrong Woman Because He Was Drunk

Within the pantheon of wretchedly preached Joel Osteen sermons, one has caught our attention, in which he claims that the reason Jacob didn’t know he was having sex with Leah instead of Rachel is on account of him being too drunk to tell the difference.

Joel has kept a fairly low profile these past few months, and was the last prominently seen marching in a Black Lives Matter rally in Houston over the summer and marketing his “Inspiration Cube”. Osteen exemplifies low-hanging fruit, in that the man couldn’t tell you what the gospel is if his life depended on it.

Rather, the “good news” that he brings is that “God loves you and wants to save you from a life of mediocrity and small dreams. Therefore, if you believe in ‘God’ and be obedient to him, God will give you a plan for your life that includes big dreams, self-esteem, favor, health and wealth, influence, a better job, a positive self-image and a fulfilled life free of negativity.” That’s it. That’s what it’s all about. That is the sum of just about every book, every sermon, every media appearance, and every tweet of Joel Osteen, condensed into a few sentences.

There is something very important to understand about Joel Osteen: He does talk about God. A lot. You cannot accuse the man of not mentioning him because he’s all over that. Here’s the thing though—It’s never really in a personal sense. Joel talks about God, but it’s always in a vague amorphous sense. There is certainly nothing distinctly Christian or Biblical about it. There’s nothing doctrinal or theological about the way he talks about God. Rather is an ethereal, shapeless, formless, customizable, singular being thing that is out there called God that functions like a cosmic vending machine whose sole purpose is seemingly to bless you and make your life better. Even when he mentions God, it’s not ABOUT God, but it’s about what God can do for YOU.

It is no wonder he plays so fast and loose with the scriptures, molesting them with his permanently plastered-on grin, taking the story of Israel and transforming into some debaucherous narrative that the scriptures never say.

Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed.”  So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her.  (Laban gave his female servant Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her servant.)  And in the morning, behold, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” (Genesis 29:21-25 ESV)

Jacob worked those seven years being his best. He didn’t just pass the time, he excelled. Because of Jacob, Laban became very wealthy. His flocks multiplied many times over.

Seven years finally came and Jacob was so excited. In those days at the wedding the bride wore a very thick veil—you couldn’t see who was in there. After the big celebration, with partying and dancing, I can imagine Jacob went to bed that night with a little too much to drink.

The next morning when he woke up, he leaned over to kiss his new bride. But it wasn’t Rachel it was her sister Leah. Jacob nearly passed out. [According to Osteen]

h/t Doctrinal Watchdog

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Evangelical Stuff News Scandal

Seemingly Drunk Jerry Falwell Jr. Crashes Show, Invites Students to Party at his House

Less than two weeks after Liberty University launched a 10 million dollar lawsuit against their former President, accusing him of conspiracy and breach of contract by sullying their reputation with his filthy yacht behavior, sexual escapades with wife Becki, a habit of “liking” bikini-clad images of his former students, and alleging that he failed to disclose “the issue of his personal impairment by alcohol,” Jerry Falwell Jr. showed up at a multi-family gathering celebrating the 2021 class of seniors, and made his way to the stage.

Grabbing a microphone while appearing visibly intoxicated and slurring his speech, Falwell told the people gathered that he was out with his wife Becki when he heard about the comedy show from his daughter who is a junior at Liberty.

Crashing the party, he congratulated the students and invited students back to his house, telling them “I just want to invite all the seniors to our farm on May 8. We’re going to have the real Liberty graduation.”

He then added afterward: “If you’re not a senior but you date one, you can come, too.”

After the invite, he noted that his daughter was “probably so pissed at me right now,” but encouraged students and attendees to spread the word “as fast as you can” about the event on social media, telling them “we gotta move quickly.”

According to RNS, who interviewed him after the April 30 invitation, he laughed it off, saying that he was just joking about it being the “real party” and that he was inviting them because he wanted to “thank the students because they’ve shown me so much love through all this ordeal. Everywhere I go, they’re so forgiving. They’re so loving. And I want to reciprocate by having them out to my farm.”

When pressed whether or not his actions were appropriate, given his sordid history with some of the students, plus the current action against him which resulted in him resigning in disgrace, he was unapologetic, arguing, “I live right here, and I’ve got a big farm, and I got a bunch of students that I love and that love me, and I’m going to do it…I don’t care whether anybody likes it or not.”

This is not the first time that he’s appeared looking flush and inebriated. Not only was he out of it when he appeared with pants unzipped at the yacht party, but he called in a radio show a few days later trying to explain it away. Just five days after he stepped down from Liberty, his wife called 911 because Falwell had called down while intoxicated and there was blood everywhere.

According to witnesses who were at the party, alcohol was not being served there, and he would have arrived in that state.

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Evangelical Stuff Featured News

Newly Released 911 Call From Intoxicated Jerry Falwell Jr.’s House Describes ‘A Lot Of Blood’

(People) Just five days after he stepped down from his posts at Liberty University amid scandal, Jerry Falwell Jr.’s wife called police to report that he was intoxicated and bleeding in their Virginia home, according to a new report.

Becki Falwell — whose affair with a former Miami pool attendant, and Jerry’s alleged involvement, sparked controversy — called police in Bedford County on Aug. 30 to report “a lot of blood” from her husband’s apparent injuries, according to records and 911 audio obtained by HuffPost.

Becki reportedly phoned 911 around 2:30 a.m., and said that she had been in church around 11 p.m. when Jerry, 58, called her and told her he fell down the stairs and was bleeding. When she arrived home, the doors were locked, so she used a chair to break into the back door, HuffPost reported.

When asked by the dispatcher if Jerry had been drinking alcohol, Becki, 53, reportedly answered “yes,” but declined to respond when asked if he’d been drinking “heavily.”

Evangelicals often avoid alcohol, and at the Christian Liberty University, which was founded by Falwell’s pastor father in 1971, students are prohibited from drinking, per the student code of conduct.

Becki was asked about Jerry’s alcohol intake once more, and the dispatcher said that his excessive bleeding could be from drinking, as alcohol thins the blood, HuffPost reported.

“The more I tell you the name, the more you’re going to understand why we’re not talking to you right now,” Becki reportedly responded.

Medics and emergency responders eventually arrived at the residence and found Jerry with multiple cuts on his face…

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Editor’s Note. This post was written by Rachel DeSantis and published at People. Title changed by Pulpit and Pen

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Evangelical Stuff Featured News

Liberty Pres. Jerry Falwell Jr. Justifies Scandalous Yacht Pictures ‘Whatever Whatever…It was all in Good Fun”

Liberty President Jerry Falwell gave an interview on Wednesday regarding his now-infamous “yacht photos” and “yacht video“, shrugging off any question of impropriety and defending the incident as a vacation “costume party” that was “just in good fun.”

The interview with the Morningline show, a local radio station in Lynchburg, Va. was a brief and bizarre affair. Falwell came across as barely incoherent and quite frankly, sounds like he’s drunk or on drugs.

We at Pulpit & Pen have heard Falwell give many interviews and he’s never sounded as bad and mentally checked out as he does here. Perhaps a medical condition is contributing to his seeming impairment, but it’s as rough as the transcript indicates.

You know it was weird cuz…cuz….she..was… she was pregnant..she couldn’t get her…she couldn’t get her pants up and….er…I was like…trying to like…my… I had on a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in a long time and I couldn’t get mine zipped either. And, uh…and so I just put my belly… I just put my belly out like hers, and…it was just…um…she’s my wife’s assistant, and she’s a sweetheart, and I should never have put up and embarrassed her because…um…anyway, I’ve…Ive apologized to everybody, and I promised my kids I’m going…try to be…I’m gonna try to be a good boy from here.

When asked about the Trailer Park Boys party- a themed event based on foul, raunchy, and crude 18+ TV show filled with cursing, sex, and sundry vile content that would get any of his Liberty University Students demerits and disciplinary action if caught watching it, Falwell was hypocritical and unrepentant, demonstrating his radical unfitness to be leading a Christian University.

Yeah yeah, whatever whatever, it was…it was the costume party on…on…and…and…we were on vacation and…anyway long story short…it was just…ah…it was just in good fun. That’s it.