Man Holds His Nose And Offers His Child To Moloch (It’s Better Than Bad Crops Next Year)

A farmer from Canaan has told his village elders that he’s holding his nose and sacrificing his first born child to the god Moloch, explaining that it’s better than having bad crops next year.

Ammishtamru and his wife Donatiya of the city-state Ugarit reported that they were not looking forward to giving the child to Moloch to be thrown into the fire, but felt that it was either that or potentially see their crops fail to flourish.

“It’s not something we’re thrilled about doing, but can you imagine four more seasons without rain? We love little Paebel, but tossing her into the fiery maw is, unfortunately, the lesser of two evils.”

Ammishtamru revealed that he really hopes it;s worth it and will appeal the demanding god, given that he only has two more children in case Moloch’s appetite is not satiated.

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