If You Can Make Sense Of What Bill Johnson is Saying, We’ll Give You $10

We don’t have any further comment, only that we can see that those are words being spoken by a human being, but they don’t mean anything.

If you have any idea what he’s saying, and your “charismatic speak” is more developed than ours, leave a comment below and we’ll send the man or woman with the most comprehensible response $10, payable on Wednesday the 21st.

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13 thoughts on “If You Can Make Sense Of What Bill Johnson is Saying, We’ll Give You $10

  1. Whatever story (testimony) you share, you are actually re-enforcing some part of god’s will and influencing someone else, thereby “changing” the immediate societal environment. – Of course, not forgetting through supernatural mumbo and heresy.

  2. The best I can do is the “You are God’s” theology that they preach at Bethel. So when people talk about your “Supernatural” experience, in the spirit realm, you are leading the charge against satan. Based on Bill Johnson, by your actions (not God) you are sending angels into the world and helping the kingdom of God do his will. In other words, it is you doing the work, not God will, but your will that will bring the kingdom of God. That’s the best I got. Ridiculous huh

  3. This is Word of Faith positive confession theology. It’s based on WOF the “little gods” doctrine speaking things into existence (ex nihilo). This movement wants to take over the culture and they believe they can by speaking positive confessions.

  4. I think he’s saying “when you tell a story of your personal spiritual experience, you release a magical angel attractant which brings them in so that you may force God and people in the culture around you to do that which you have declared…because it is, of course, God’s heart to do that which you wish for him to do”.

    Now, excuse me while I vomit on my keyboard…It wasn’t worth $10 to type that heretical nonsense.

  5. The idea would seem to be:

    When a report is made of a supernatural experience, the sharing of that report comes with spiritual power (i.e., the “prophetic anointing”—a work of the Spirit) that will effect change in the environment (both natural and supernatural worlds). By giving verbal testimony to such experiences, angels (who respond to God’s work and word) are drawn into the environment (both natural and supernatural), to add their presence and power to the carrying out of the word that was shared, underscoring and “enforcing” (i.e., assuring the carrying out) of the prophectic nature of what was shared. By the very act of making the report of the experience, you are creating a space (because of the prophetic/Spirit nature of the report) into which angels will act because the experience that was is a report of something God Himself did—thus a work that was “born in the heart of God.”

    Although I believe this is what Bill Johnson is saying, I must say I wholly disagree with what he is saying. (Much like I can explain what the Mormon missionaries at my door are saying about Joseph Smith’s “first vision” while still rejecting entirely what they insist is “true.”)

  6. “If you want angelic beings to make society more godly, you need to go repeat charismatic lies because that’s like angel-Gatorade or something.”

  7. Translation (paraphrased, of course): Although I have access to the truth of God, I neither glorify Him nor give thanks to Him. As a result, my thinking is futile and my foolish mind is darkened so nothing that I say makes sense. That won’t stop me, though, because I’ll still claim to be wise even though I’m a fool (Rom. 1:21-22). But don’t worry, even though my mind is desperately sick and no one can understand it (Jer. 17:9), there are plenty of people whose ears are itching enough to still listen to me (2 Tim. 4:3). So today, even though I have nothing sensical or important to say, I’ll just toss out some currently relevant words like “culture” and “catalytic” and “change” and “environment,” and mash them together with Bible-sounding vocabulary like “angels” and “decree” and “heart of God.” That should get some of these other mouth-breathers nodding their heads in agreement, as if I said something that makes sense. As for my $10 prize, please send it to a solid church in Redding so that one of the true men of God in that area can buy himself a cup of coffee to help him stay awake after wasting hours trying to explain how idiotic this guy is to some eager teenager who came to him with questions about attracting angels to change the culture, but wondering how catalytic converters fit into the equation.

  8. I’ll give it a shot…

    “…Every time the story is told [involving an alleged New Age supernatural phony experience] in that lost community, it releases prophetic demonic baloney to bring more evil catalytic change into the environment; you’ve attracted demons into the environment to enforce the prophetic poppycock of a false testimony and start shifting and wrecking the culture. You’ve chosen by your Kat Kerr like decree what you want to draw into the atmosphere in order to reinforce that which was born in the heart of Satan.”

  9. Just a thought about some of the comments posted here. After working for years with Dr. Walter Martin (who was a very clear and outspoken critic of false teaching), I came to understand that there is little benefit of ridiculing the beliefs of others and presenting them in the worst possible light. To genuinely offer a Gospel-based critique of another’s teaching–even if that other’s teaching is rank heresy–one must be able to rightly understand and be able to express what that other is communicating. Without such an appropriate re-articulation of the teaching being criticized, the one being criticized (and others who read the criticism) simple conclude that the critic has not made an honest effort to understand the other’s teaching. I wholly disagree with (and would be willing to provide Biblical grounds for my disagreement) Bill Johnson’s teaching; but for an effective Gospel response to his teaching, it would seem I would first have to demonstrate that I do understand what he is seeking to say.

  10. you don’t have to pay me, but really all he’s saying is anytime you talk about the supernatural, change happens where you’re at. Angels come to make sure it happens and the culture starts to change. YOU decide what the atmosphere will be to make sure the heart of God happens.

    so long story short, basically talk and everything around you changes. You be God. He approves.

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