Predator Comedian John Crist Back on the Christian Circuit

Comedian John Crist, once the darling of the evangelical world before his reputation tanked and burst into flames after allegations of sexual misconduct came to light, has returned to the stand-up and speaking circuit after spending a short time in time-out on account of deep-seated sins.

Crist, a popular Christian entertainer known for his comedy routines and hip ethos, had his life and career come to a grinding halt 16 months ago after Charisma News broke the story that a host of women were alleging some very unsavory things, including harassing and manipulating young women, “sexting” multiple partners at the same time, committing adultery and bribing women with tickets to his shows in exchange for sexual favors.

Unfortunately, he barely copped to the allegations in the Charisma piece, releasing a statement to the magazine where with a pretty stellar euphemism he acknowledged only that “While I am not guilty of everything I’ve been accused of, I confess to being guilty of this — I have treated relationships with women far too casually, in some cases even recklessly.”

Stunning and brave. This non-apology apology might as well have said, “I’m sorry that the women were offended by my actions,” for how insincere and evasive it was.

He disappeared to get “healing” for sex addiction, claimed in the process that he almost killed himself (a tactic manipulators use to garner sympathy), and hid out of sight for a while, waiting for the requisite year to pass so that he could emerge back into the limelight to declare that he was now restored and ready to return to evangelicalism’s good graces.

Looks like that happened, with Crist playing to sold-out shows across the States:

In an extended Instagram stories video, Crist spoke to the controversy, explaining that when he checked into the Arizona rehab clinic his therapist asked him what he wanted to do. (Allegedly he went to rehab. He’s enough of a narcissist that we have no reason to believe he’s not just making that up.) He responded to her:

I want to go home, and I want to withdraw all of my money from the bank, and then I want to go down to broadway- broadway where are all the bars are – and I want to get drunk, and then I want to bring girls back to my condo, and I want to do that every night until I run out of money and then I want to kill myself.

Not the most regenerated way to be thinking. Speaking of his angst, Crist lets it all out:

I believed something about myself that was untrue. I believe that this world would be better off with me not in it…and I look back on everything that happened…I look back on just the whole situation, and all of the consequences were because of my own horrific choices, and I look you guys in the eye and own that and take responsibility for that any day of the week, BUT, the only thing worse – I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy. But the only worse [thing] than what happened to me is if it wouldn’t ever [have] happened to me.

I wouldn’t say happened to me – a lot of the choices I made were my own. But if that would have never happened, I would’ve continued the rest of my life trying to earn y’alls approval on the internet and hoping that you guys would love me.

That’s a hot take on things. Focus on the alcohol, don’t talk about the really bad things, try to garner sympathy and pity, then turn it around on the audience and fans by suggesting that in a way, they bear some of the responsibility.

It’s weird because if that would have never happened to me I would’ve just continued on the road of being a trash dude – I wasn’t trash, but like…I would have ended up at the end of my life alone and sad and wondering why and hoping that the people on the internet would find me funny or relevant or whatever.

Crist claims he wasn’t being a “trash dude” back when he was, again, “harassing and manipulating young women, ‘sexting’ multiple partners at the same time, committing adultery, and bribing women with tickets to his shows in exchange for sexual favors.” That’s the epitome of “trash dude.”

He then goes on to explain that he still makes tons of “horrific choices” previously defined as the above sexting and using and abusing women, and doesn’t want anyone to look up to him or emulate him.

I still make tons of horrific choices and I don’t want to ever set myself up to be some kind of role model or anything. I’m just coming up on 17 months sober, I mean if you don’t believe in miracles come my way.

And even letting anyone know about my sobriety or anything like that makes me nervous, because then what if I go back to drinking again? Then am I crushed again. Am I canceled again? What if I have a girl over to my apartment, and somebody sees me and I’m canceled again? I don’t want to put myself – I don’t know if it’s a bible verse, if anyone’s calling anyone a sinner, call me chief among them, honestly. I don’t know if that’s a bible verse…

The fact that Crist has any fans is beyond us. But they are there. Millions of them. Millions of Christians following him on social media and attending his shows.

All that creepy, pervy, manipulation he did? That was so 17 months ago.

Practically a lifetime.